the blog quebecois

Rush Limbaugh:

That is just outrageous. In the first place, this country is not a zero-sum game. This economy's not a zero-sum game. That means if you get a dollar somebody loses it, that's not the case. That does not mean if you get fired, somebody gets hired. Or if you get hired, somebody gets fired. That's a zero-sum game and that's not what this country is. The American people are not looking at things like he just described it. Obama plans on being filthy rich when he gets out of the Oval Office. Obama is planning right now how to become filthy rich without having to do any more work and without having to write any more phony books or paying somebody else to write 'em, whatever the hell happened there. And he is exempting himself from criticism for becoming filthy rich with this crap.

(imitating Obama) "We don't begrudge financial success. We admire it. Hell, people like me talk about not paying my fair share, it's not 'cause they envy the rich. It's 'cause they understand that when I get tax breaks I don't need..." Spare us the pain and misery of a tax cut you don't need. That's how the Clintons do it. It's how the Kennedys did it. It's how Bill Gates... Jobs didn't do it, Steve Jobs didn't do it. He took the money, kept it, and he cut off all philanthropy at Apple. That's another thing. Here's Obama wailing and moaning about outsourcing jobs and manufacturing jobs, and then there's Jobs' wife that was invited. There's no greater outsourcer of work in this country than Apple -- and I'm not criticizing it -- and yet there's Steve Jobs being praised by Obama last night.

I saw the Apple financials. They blew it out, set a record. I listened to their conference call and their earnings report. As you people know, I'm an Apple evangel. But my point is, here's Obama ripping into American businesses that ship jobs overseas, and nobody does that better than Apple. And yet there's Apple being honored. I'll tell you, this was a mass of confusion, hypocrisy, lies, distortions and a failed attempt of a failed president to attach himself to America's greatness, when he wouldn't recognize it if it slapped him upside the head.

Lo, in the twilight days of the second year of the second decade of the third millennium did a great darkness descend over the wireless internet connectivity of the people of 276 Ferndale Street in the North-Central lands of Iowa. For many years, the gentlefolk of these lands basked in a wireless network overflowing with speed and ample internet, flowing like a river into their Compaq Presario. Many happy days did the people spend checking Hotmail and reading USAToday.com.

But then one gray morning did Internet Explorer 6 no longer load The Google. Refresh was clicked, again and again, but still did Internet Explorer 6 not load The Google. Perhaps The Google was broken, the people thought, but then The Yahoo too did not load. Nor did Hotmail. Nor USAToday.com. The land was thrown into panic. Internet Explorer 6 was minimized then maximized. The Compaq Presario was unplugged then plugged back in. The old mouse was brought out and plugged in beside the new mouse. Still, The Google did not load.

Via Metafilter, where the comments are filling up with the valiant songs of the "computer whisperers," as they shall forevermore be praised.

Another one with just bass and guitar -- I must have overdubbed the vocals later. I improvised most of the chorus.

In retrospect, my inability to come up with the names of weapons, drugs and "men's magazines" (not the Playboy types; more of the paranoid/survivalist variety) should be seen as a Good Thing.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Previous: Meth

AMERICANS can urinate on our dead bodies as much as they feel like, the Taliban said last night.

The laid-back Afghan militia insisted footage of three US marines desecrating the corpses of Taliban fighters was 'no biggie'.

A spokesman said: "Why would you think this would bother us? Why would you think this would make us redouble our efforts to kill as many of you as we possibly can and make Vietnam look like a bunch of bonged-up students playing a game of Pictionary?

"It's just three guys having a laugh at the end of a hard day's work. Hey, we know the feeling and we're totally cool with it."

A rewrite (the original doesn't seem to be available). I came up with entirely new lyrics, though I probably should have quit before the bridge. I can't make out what I was singing, apart from the words "telephone" and "heartless," but it definitely had too many syllables.

The opening guitar lines are a bit noisy, bluesy, and sloppy (to complete the coveted "-y" trifecta).

========================

[Verse]

Should I rent out a billboard
Put out an ad
Should I hire a skywriter
Would that make you mad?

Should I call up your girlfriend
And ask where you are
Fly down to Rio
Is that going too far?

-------------------------------------------------
[Chorus]

Yeah, just so you know
I want you to know
Just so you know
I want you [rpt.]
-------------------------------------------------
[Verse]

Should I distribute handbills
With your name and your face
Paste them all over
All over the place?

Should I engage a detective
Call the police
Jump from the rooftop
And land in your tree?
-------------------------------------------------
[Chorus]
-------------------------------------------------
[Bridge]

Something, something, telephone
Something, something, heartless
-------------------------------------------------
[Chorus]

==================

Montreal Gazette:

In one of the complaints, probationary clerical worker David Pembroke said that Chotalia began harassing him after he turned down her request to assume the duties of her executive assistant who was absent on stress leave. (The executive assistant eventually found work elsewhere in the government and didn't return).

Pembroke, who said he turned down the work because he didn't feel qualified to do it, said Chotalia ended a discussion by "waving her hand over her head in a dismissive and what I consider a demeaning manner.'' She denied this.

It's too bad I don't have a webcam. Not only are you deprived of the sight of me prancing around naked; but you cannot see me waving my hand over my head in a dismissive and a demeaning manner in response to young Master Pembroke.

In addition, I am wiggling my fingers, the traditional Iroquois method of signalling complete derision.

If that doesn't finish off the little pansy, then my mission will have failed.

from the wild with a joek.

Well, of sorts. Just checking in after all the Xmas madness. Will be some time before I can resume my usual blinding pace.

Or as they say in Pittsburgh, Happy Sparkle Season!

I've been running around and I'm travelling tomorrow, so I thought I'd just pop in to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and I'll see you again in the New Year.

And if you're in need of a last-minute stocking stuffer, I'm pleased to inform you that Amazon has finally got this back in stock. You might think it's a joke, but scroll down to read the rapturous reviews, of which this is typical:

After hearing the music of Nickelback and being highly disappointed, I began a quest to find something better. This item fits the bill perfectly.

David Warren:

Suddenly bullying in schools, which has been with us for as long as there have been schools, has been elevated to a "crisis." When this happens, people who were not born yesterday look for the agenda. And we find it written in large capital letters, in a scheme to impose "gay-straight alliances" on unwilling Catholic and private Christian schools, and otherwise extend the reach of "LGBT" propaganda into places where it is especially unwelcome.

This political method is itself a ripe example of bullying. Victimhood status is declared on behalf of a favoured group, emotionally-loaded examples of apparent victimizing are publicized, and the "crisis" is declared. Powers are sought by activists on behalf of such victims.

Those who resist their power grab are demonized. This is the way every "progressive" cause is advanced. It works, because no one could want to be publicly tarred.

Huey Long, the Governor of Louisiana (1928-32), someone often labelled a fascist (but probably more of a corrupt populist of the Boss Tweed variety) is reputed (though this is in considerable dispute) to have once said, "When Fascism comes to America, it will (be in the name of/come under the guise of/be called) anti-Fascism!"

And it's with an increasing sense of dread that I've been watching the rise of this anti-bullying movement. The main backers ("educators," homosexuals, feminists, Islamists, and certain journalists and commentators) strike me as a rather unsavory crowd at best: they seem less guided by the spirit of civility than by the desire to channel the force of the mob for their own dark purposes.

CBC:

Quebec has been fighting to hang on to the data, but the federal government has refused to agree to the request.

Dutil said Quebec will take the federal government to court once the legislation has been passed and becomes law, but he refused to specify what kind of legal action that would be.

He said if Quebec wins and is able to get the data from the federal registry, a bill would be introduced in the national assembly to create Quebec's own registry.

I guess that things must be pretty flush in Quebec these days if they can justify squandering taxpayers' dollars on already-obsolete (and none-too-accurate in the first place) data. If they want to clutch that tar-baby of a useless bureaucracy then I suppose that there's no stopping them. Nice that they've got the money to spare -- Alberta can celebrate too, by deducting the costs from their transfer payments.

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Fortunately the poor man had some protection.

Daily Mail:

He's the music producer with a magic touch and years of hits and Grammy Awards under his belt, but Clive Davis had a rare flop yesterday when he appeared to try to cover up his bald patch.

Looking in fine fettle for 79 years of age, Davis need not have gone to the trouble of the attempted camouflage - which appeared to be courtesy of spray on hair.

It was an odd move for a man of his stature, who surely has a huge team of advisors.

Davis is on first name terms with the likes of Sean Combs, Barry Manilow and Bruce Springsteen.

As someone with still some (admittedly, flickering) hopes of a recording contract, I would try to approach this diplomatically. And besides, I speak-a tha ling-o:

"Clive, old Bean! Can't quite put my finger on it (nor do I want to, at least not without haz-mat gloves), but you vigorous, youthful rock-and rollin' rascal, you look MAH-va-lous!"