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November 2002 Archives

November 19, 2002

Samizdat: Notez from Deepest Soviet Canuckistan

You think George Bush is stupid? Look northward, America, look
north.

Since 1993 we've been graced with Jean Chretien.

It is impossible to convey how tone-deaf this moron is, but I'll
give an example:

A few years ago, the Dutch found the remains of a Canadian
soldier in a bog and ID'd him from his dog tags.

The military wanted to send over a full burial party but the
government vetoed that. It'd pay for four (4) soldiers, but that
was it. Private sponsors eventually kicked in the money and the
poor boy finally got the funeral he deserved.

When the Opposition raised the issue, the PM stood up in the
House of Commons and said (well, I paraphrase):

"You know, there wasn't too much left of him, so the coffin
would have been light."

Like I said, I paraphrased it, but that was the essence of what
he said.

George Bush is stupid? Look northward, America, look north.

The grandiose fool is now trying to cram the Kyoto Accord down
our throat, mainly, it seems, because he wants to build his
"legacy." Some legacy. An utterly corrupt machine politician
who drags the country with him into his grave.

I predict that if the Kyoto Accord is implemented, Alberta will
be petitioning to join the United States within the decade.

We've already seen Trudeau destroy our economy with the National
Energy Program.

It's not going to happen again.

Look northward, America, look north. We're bigger than France
and twice as nice. Good skiing, too.

We also have the Athabaska Tar Sands, which contains an
estimated 2 trillion barrels of oil, of which about 500 bbls are
recoverable with present technology. By contrast, Saudi
Arabia's proven reserves are 280 bbl.

Obviously extra refining is involved, because you have to shake
the oil out of the bitumen and otherwise process it, but as long
as the price remains at $21 (US) per barrel and above it's
viable. (Conventional exploration eats up $7 per barrel.
Whereas with Athabaska there's no exploration. We know where it
is, a big sticky mess.)

Western separatism is a different creature than Quebec's. The
Quebec variety is top-down: Intellectuals, media and
politicians. In the West, it's grassroots: Farmers, small
business owners, and the guy who sleeps in his truck outside Ft.
McMurray while waiting to get a spot in Syncrude's barracks.
These people are primed to explode, and I've never heard such
anger before.

Look northward, America, look north.

If it's true that you cowardly Yanks only fight for oil, why not
take us on?

Send in the Marines and I think you could depend on Albertans to
secure your eastern flank.

November 21, 2002

Paint My Wagon

God, I hate painting.

I'm unfortunately good at it, which is why I got tagged to do Mom's condo while she sojourns in sunny Italy.

Last night my only friend in the world dropped by for the hockey game and a few beers. On observing the general disarray of my little painting project and my general state of intoxication (I prefer to think of it as conviviality) he turned to me and said: "gnotalex. gnotalex. Put down the bottle and pick up the brush."

That was pretty funny when he said it and it was hysterically funny this morning when I remembered it.

I haven't entirely put down the bottle yet (or picked up the brush), but I have managed to get the place spackled, sanded, and taped off.

God, I hate painting.

November 24, 2002

Time And Again

Opposition wants Chretien aide's head over reports she called Bush "a moron".

By STEPHEN THORNE

Alliance Party MP Jason Kenney questions the Bush "a moron". (CP /Fred Chartrand)


OTTAWA (CP) - Opposition MPs called on Prime Minister Jean Chretien to fire a top aide Thursday after she reportedly referred to U.S. President George W. Bush as "a moron." "Does one good friend treat another by calling its leader a moron?" Alliance MP Jason Kenney asked during Question Period.

Kenney said Canada-U.S. relations have deteriorated to their lowest level in decades because of the Liberals' "knee-jerk anti-Americanism."

Sigh. Time to wheel out the all-purpose apology form letter:


Indeed, the recent remarks by

[ ] Jean Chretien
[ ] a Chretien Cabinet Minister
[x] Some Liberal flunky


were

[ ] ill-timed
[ ] unfortunate
[ ] insensitive
[x] completely off the Whack-O-Meter


and

[ ] should not seriously affect our relations with our great friends, the Americans.
[ ] a stern reprimand has been placed in his/her personnel file
[ ] enclosed is a complimentary jar of maple syrup.
[x] we'll beat the bitch to death with hockey sticks.


Sincerely,

Canada

P.S. Please don't close the border.


On other fronts: An Edmonton newspaper released a poll last week showing that 40% of Albertans are in favor of at least using the threat of separation for leverage. That's about double the historical average. This again parallels the pattern in Quebec. By 1976, separatist leanings were at 45%, which was when the first Parti Quebecois government was elected.

Heh. That's over a 14-year period (starting from the "Quiet Revolution" of 1962). Albertans made the jump in two months, and it's starting to attract serious attention from some heavyweights in the ruling Conservatives.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Stay tuned.

About November 2002

This page contains all entries posted to the blog quebecois in November 2002. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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