Just what the hell is it that they put in "Irish Spring" soap, anyway?
I was washing my face this morning when an important phone call I was expecting came through, and I ran out to answer it.
About two minutes into the call, I felt fierce itching and pain in my facial regions. Swiping at my facial regions with my palmal regions, I found "Irish Spring" soap that I'd not rinsed off. Because I was by now developing clusters of hives and respiratory distress, I terminated the phone call and attempted to neutralize the severe burning sensation by thrusting my head into a large container of baking soda that I keep by the stove. (If you cooked like me, you'd understand.)
No wonder the Irish people are always reciting morose poetry and shooting each other. It's the damned "Irish Spring" soap.
It's too late for me. My nose fell off this afternoon, and the docs aren't optimistic.
For the love of God, spread this warning far and wide, preferably with a link back here. I can always use the traffic.
Assuming that I . . . that I . . . survive?