you're gonna make my day
gonna blow you away
when the fun begins-- queen
Many of you will have heard about this hockey player:
EAST ST. LOUIS, Ill. - Former St. Louis Blues player Mike Danton admitted in U.S. federal court today that he sought to have his agent killed as part of a plot that unravelled when the would-be hit man turned out to be a police informant.
Looking for similar cases, this was the first that I turned up on Google:
A 40-year old Canarsien and his 45-year-old business partner were arrested last weekend for allegedly trying to hire a hit man to kill their wives. Their big problem, however, was in their choice of hit men: an undercover cop working for the Kings County district attorney.
And this was the second:
(Rockford, June 10, 2004, 6:52 p.m.) A woman from Rockford pled guilty Thursday to trying to hire a hitman to kill her ex-husband.Michele Brantman was arrested after an informant told police of her plan to have James Brantman killed.
The supposed hitman ended up being an undercover police officer.
Do we see something of a pattern here, folks? You go out and make a good-faith effort to hire a hitman, and somehow you wind up with a police informant or an undercover cop. What are the odds?
I wonder if it works the same way in reverse? You want to hire a police informant or an undercover cop to mow your lawn or something, and the guy turns out to be a hitman. I guess it wouldn't matter much if he does a good job on the lawn.
Bah, sez me. Cut out the middleman whenever possible, and save yourself $$$ and possibly 25-to-life or worse.
With that in mind, I offer -- for educational purposes only -- a link to Hit Man: A Technical Manual for Independent Contractors.
You might have some recollection of it: Originally published by Paladin Press, which specializes in survivalist/anarchist books and tapes, it became famous when a schlub named James Perry murdered three people in Maryland in 1993, following some of the book's instructions (but not all, like never checking into a hotel using your real name).
The investigation turned up the fact that Perry had ordered a copy of Hit Man from Paladin, and Paladin was later successfully sued for several million dollars by relatives of the victims. It doesn't carry the book anymore.
Dave Kopel wrote about the case, which raises many troubling questions about the First Amendment and third-party liability, in Reason magazine.
There's a more technical discussion of the law involved at Samsara's Blog.
As for Hit Man: Well, it ain't literature, but it is interesting. The book wasn't as advertised -- the advice of a genuine hitman -- but was pitched to Paladin as a fictional manuscript by a woman who reworked it into a "how-to" manual at the publisher's request. There's a lot that I, at least, hadn't thought about, on disguises, poisons, disposal of evidence (and bodies) and transporting weapons.
The online version is full of typos (though that probably is the fault of whoever keyed it in) and there aren't any pictures or diagrams, so you'll have to figure out how to build a silencer just by description. (If not, Paladin Press will be delighted to sell you Home Workshop Silencers, Vol. 1 for only $20.)
And remember, you didn't hear about the link from me. Now if you'll excuse me, I think the undercover cop is here to mow the lawn.