the blog quebecois

At least it isn't called Paul Martin Forever. Another 21 days of him will do me just fine.

For the political junkies out there (you know who you are), here's probably the most detailed simulation of the upcoming election you're likely to find. You control one (or more) candidates and manage all aspects of the campaign, from policy to ad buys to spin control and dirty tricks.

I was fooling around with it yesterday afternoon and it looks quite well done. Of course, it depends on what weight the designers give to intangibles like "leadership" and "integrity," but that problem is common to all strategy games. You can download the demo from the CBC website, and get a coupon for 20% off the $18.95 price if you purchase it that way.

The demo allows you to play out only the 2006 election, and you can't vary the computer players' strength. The full version covers elections dating back to 1993, allows you to edit or run alternate candidates (including yourself, if you like), and has a scenario editor that can model situations from ancient Rome to the futuristic.

The company also has versions for American, British, Australian and German elections, all for Windows 98 through XP (they'll also run under Virtual PC for Macs).

CTV:

Martin hammered again and again at the broad theme of values, claiming he and Harper have different visions of government.

"I think he has a very different perspective on the role of government than I do. It hasn't been hidden," said Martin.

"His role of government is very much to fend for yourself."

What he said next unfortunately didn't seem to make any of the stories I've seen, or the TV news, but I heard it on the radio this morning. It was something to the effect that Liberals, in contrast to Harper, believed in "bringing people together."

Good grief. Let's get out the calculator and figure out how many people this bumbler has alienated: Albertans, Quebecers, Newfoundlanders, gun-owners, veterans, income-trust investors. Not to mention our most important ally and trading-partner. I guess "bringing people together" is some kind of Liberal secret code for "raping the taxpayer" or something.

Martin believes institutionalized state child care is "the best example" of these value differences.

"I believe that government has a very strong role to play in child care. That's a fundamental difference and that applies across the wide range of issues in which you deal with family."

You clowns couldn't run a lemonade stand. Keep your hands off the kids, creep.

mary, mary, quite contrary
how does your garden grow?
with silver bells and cockle shells
and pretty maids all in a row

This garden requires no green thumb; just a twitchy right index finger.

Hmmm. This I did not know:

The Mary alluded to in this traditional English nursery rhyme is reputed to be Mary Tudor, or Bloody Mary, who was the daughter of King Henry VIII. Queen Mary was a staunch Catholic and the garden referred to is an allusion to graveyards which were increasing in size with those who dared to continue to adhere to the Protestant faith - Protestant martyrs.

The silver bells and cockle shells referred to in the Nursery Rhyme were colloquialisms for instruments of torture. The 'silver bells' were thumbscrews which crushed of the thumb between two hard surfaces by the tightening a screw. The 'cockleshells' were believed to be instruments of torture which were attached to the genitals!

No wonder I've always hated gardening.

Get it? Goldn Retrievr = . . . Golden Retriever! Fetch, boy, fetch! Good boy! Good dog! Goo -- ah, forget it.

There's a new, very interesting app out called retrievr. As the picture above might indicate, it allows you to draw a doodle and then it searches through some subset of flickr and attempts to find photos with similar shapes and colors.

Really, it usually does a better job of it than my example would indicate, but I haven't had a lot of time to work with it, and the program's acting a bit sluggish tonight. A lot of big sites are linking to it, and the server's getting hammered. Some times I could only get a "Too many open threads" error message. This guy had better luck.

This isn't of course the only example of its kind -- there's obviously much ongoing (classified or secretive-corporate, for the most part) research on facial-recognition software. Princeton University has the Shape Retrieval and Analysis program that searches specialized datasets for 2-D or 3-D objects that match sketched-in input.

imgSeek (from which, I gather, Retrievr was derived) is an open-source photo manager and searcher that you can install on your own computer. Like most open-source projects, though, it's in a constant state of geekflux, so unless you're prepared to figure out frequent riddles like

# When starting imgSeek, all I get is: "Warning: Unable to load the C++ extension "imgdb.so" module. Make sure ...
# I get an error when exiting: Fatal Python error: PyEval_RestoreThread: NULL tstate
# The metadata editor ignores or refuses to save comments with extended characters on my locale.

it probably won't be for you.

I was wondering aloud a few weeks ago about what to call the occasional posts at that point named "News You Won't Be Seeing On The CBC." CBCWatch, writing to request permission (granted) to repost some of these, suggested "CB No See" or "CBC Unseen," both of which I like. So I shall alternate between them, maybe adding others as I go along.

Following the earthquake that struck Pakistan and parts of India Oct. 8 last year, Canada did what it could, dispatching its Disaster And Relief Team (DART) to the area within a matter of days. They helped many people in very difficult circumstances (with the CBC providing glowing reports documenting the effort). But DART wrapped up its mission Dec. 4, and the CBC packed up its cameras too.

Guess who's still there?

Wall Street Journal:

It was Pakistan's good fortune in those critical days that Adm. LeFever could call in heavy-lift helicopters, particularly the tandem-rotor Chinook, from bases in nearby Afghanistan. Every road into the Frontier Province and the neighboring Azad Kashmir region had been rendered impassable by huge landslides. Every hospital in the region except one had been destroyed. The Pakistan government, which lost nearly its entire civil administration in the region as well as hundreds of soldiers, lacked the airlift capacity to bring adequate relief north and the critically injured south. The Chinooks were among the few helicopters able to reach, supply and evacuate places that, even under normal conditions, are some of the most inaccessible on earth.

Since then, U.S. helicopters have flown 2,500 sorties, carried 16,000 passengers and delivered nearly 6,000 tons of aid. Just as importantly, the Chinook has become America's new emblem in Pakistan, a byword for salvation in an area where until recently the U.S. was widely and fanatically detested. Toy Chinooks (made in China, of course) are suddenly popular with Pakistani children. A Kashmiri imam who denounced the U.S. in a recent sermon was booed and heckled by worshippers. "Pakistan is not a nation of ingrates," a local businessman told me over dinner the other night. "We know where the help is coming from."

Via >bt: brain terminal

Yesterday was Louis Braille's birthday, and Google reworked its logo to commemorate the date:

As did Playboy:

Actually, Playboy didn't, but that's an authentic braille copy, fron November 1995. It was apparently being auctioned off on eBay (before eBay got the jitters and removed the listing).

It's just one of the many fine offerings of the National Library Service for the Blind and Physically Handicapped, a division of the Library of Congress.

Via Banterist

Very good, class. Next week we will discuss proper use of the safety.

Bonus footage! Sometimes you can have too much safety. U.S. Navy guys firing off (I think) a torpedo. Warning: Language. Those sailors, they are a salty crew.

Outsports:

�Stefan was the leader of the group, and he has in his file that he was accused and found guilty of consorting with a goat at the age of 15,� said the coach.

This scandal has made its way to UEFA, but the organization has no rules that govern homosexual behavior. �It is not in our jurisdiction,� said a representative of the body. �It is a matter for the Bulgarian football association.�

�They [the four teammates] are a bunch of big homos,� said the report. �All of this stuff has been going on on the team. They have been caught doing this before, but the coaches thought that it was just drunken horseplay.�

It started at a bar called Martinitza, where the manager found the owner of the team with two transvestites and Anton, who is a homosexual gypsy singer. One of the 18 year olds on the team was copying Anton�s style, but Anton is much shorter.

Just for the record, I would like to make it clear that I do not spend much -- nay, not even a jot or tittle of time at sites such as Outsports.

Robert apparently does, though.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Via A Welsh View

Or if you like: PM PM's PM.

What the hell was that all about? Not the debate -- I concur with Andrew Coyne and Chantal Hebert, who both gave a clear victory to Harper.

I'm talking about Martin's bizarre (I'm tempted to think that he made it up off the cuff, but nothing the man does is spontaneous) boast that he'd eliminate the Notwithstanding Clause altogether.

Ted Morton:

Eight provinces (all but Ontario and New Brunswick) opposed Trudeau's proposed Charter of Rights because it transferred so much power to judges, especially the Supreme Court. They thought that this empowerment of the judiciary conflicted with Canada's longstanding tradition of parliamentary democracy and that it would undermine the capacity of the provinces to be self-governing. They feared that federally-appointed superior court judges would use the Charter to unfairly strike down provincial policies. Their acceptance of the Charter in November, 1981 was conditional upon Trudeau's acceptance of the legislative override power.

In particular, Premiers Lougheed (Alta.), Blakeney (Sask.) and Lyon (Man.) were adamant that the Notwithstanding Clause was integral to passage of the Constitution. Without its inclusion the Constitution Act, 1982 and the Charter of Rights and Freedoms would never have come into force. Any attempt to eliminate it -- by subterfuge, amendment or fiat -- will be seen especially by the West as a dealbreaker.

You might not like a leash on untrammelled judical activism, Prime Minister; that only leaves the alternative of judges' heads stuck on pikes before Parliament, or whatever institution succeeds it.

september fifth
9 a.m.
courtroom ten
turned myself in

pooh-man

I was preparing to write a blistering post that would sink the electoral fortunes of Paul Martin for once and for all, and now I've forgotten what I meant to say.

For I have been tagged by Bruce at Autonomous Source with this latest stupid blóg meme to list the five strangest things about myself. I take exception to the premise: I have been told over and over, by some very famous and well-respected people, that I AM NOT WEIRD.

The ouija board DOES NOT lie, and I have that on the authority of no less than Winston Churchill.

In fact, this entire topic made me so angry that I pounded the table with enough violence to topple my human-skull chalice ("Yorick"), filled with the finest of jug-wines, which I buy in quantity, as I do tend to tip Yorick over from time to time. (One of these days I'm really going to have to build a stem and base for it.)

So, nope. I can't see where I'm out of the mainstream at all. OK, I like George W. Bush, which in Canada is tantamount to heresy; I prefer to think of it as iconoclasm. That's me -- the rebel, the outsider, the visionary.

Now it is my turn to tag five other blóggers, but I can't think of five offhand who actually read this site. So I will call the curse down upon Andrew Ian Dodge of Dodgeblogium. Now this guy is weird. Sir Winnie told me so himself.

Exclusive, must credit blog quebecois!

I, too, have my sources in the Liberal war room. This is from the second wave of Liberal ads, expected in the next week:

Mother Nature at her most lyrical -- it is as if the woodsy sprite is in thrall to the music of the celestial spheres. Dance, little ballerina, dance!

Will Stephen Harper send soldiers to kill this tree if he is elected? He won't say.

Soldiers. In Canada. With bullets.

We're not making this up.

Choose your Canada.

Vote Liberal.

i'm looking for me
you're looking for you
we're looking in at each other
and we don't know what to do

the who

I knew what I didn't want to do, and that was link to "The Streak", that dreadful 70s novelty song by Ray Stevens. See, there's only a few letters difference in the title of the Who song, although I suppose everybody's going to notice now that I've brought it to your attention.

Ahem. Anyhoo, a few days ago a U.K. mobile phone company put up on its site "The Beautiful Game," in which you play a female streaker trying to dash across the pitch, dodging cops and players. There wasn't anything obscene about it and it was kind of fun but someone apparently thought elsewise, because it was gone when I returned tonight (for research purposes only).

Because my readers demand quality streaker-based entertainment, I've gone "the extra mile," and rounded up pretty well all the quality (and non-quality) streaker-based entertainment out there.

Warning: These are pretty innocuous, but probably NSFW. All three have music and sfx and you might want to watch (figuratively speaking) the banners on the last one.

As we have seen recently, advertising is a tricky business.

Television advertisements are carefully scripted for maximum advantage. It's a very brief and very expensive artform that packs vital information and brand identity into every one of the 30, 15, or even fewer seconds that they run.

Or not. Witness this ad for Honda. Or possibly an acid trip.

One rule of thumb is: Try not to scare potential customers. This switchblade fight between robot zombies in some post-apocalyptic scrapyard is actually an ad for the Audi RS4 Spider. I found that out by peeking between my fingers. Just show the price. That's frightening enough.

Consumers are rightfully interested in safety. Renault addresses this by crashing food. German and Japanese food tends to explode. If you must drive around in food, the Renault Baguette would seem to be your best bet. It looks like a real bitch to park, though.

Warning: Music, etc.

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, doctor (oh, doctor)
won't you kindly hear my plea? (oh, doctor)
i know, you know, doctor (oh, doctor)
exactly what is best for me (oh, doctor)

irving berlin

Edmonton Journal:

Rahim Jaffer (Edmonton-Strathcona) is also a contender because he is from a visible minority. Edmonton-Leduc MP James Rajotte, the party's longtime industry critic and a staunch supporter of Harper's leadership bid, could also be in line for a position at the cabinet table.

Energy is the least likely cabinet position to go to an Albertan precisely because most of the country's resources are here, and it wouldn't be acceptable to the rest of the country, said [B.C. political scientist Allan] Tupper, now at the University of British Columbia. It would be like naming a physician to the health portfolio.

Yeah, sort of like Dr. Carolyn Bennett, Minister of State for Public Health in Martin's cabinet. She's a big believer in command and control:

Despite the fact that a huge demographic, the boomers, is moving into late middle age, we must somehow reduce the demands on Canada's health-care system. To find ways to do so, it's instructive for Canadians to look south: not the south of George W. Bush, but farther south, to Cuba, which long ago decided that it wouldn't be able to afford to have its citizens get sick and so would focus on keeping them well.

I don't know what sort of Potemkin village they were squiring you around, Dr. Bennett, but chances are that it wasn't a Cuban hospital -- you know, the kind that real Cubans have to use. The pictures were taken at "El Hospital Clinico Quirurgico de la Habana."

Oh, and those black crunchy things are called "cucarachas" in Spanish. Isn't that just adorable? More at Val Prieto's Babalublog.

I guess Allan Tupper is right. You'd hate to have doctors in charge of stuff like that.

I got nothin' tonight. Well, I do got this. (Warning: Some sfx.)

I got nothin' tonight.

Via Ursi's Blóg

Nealenews:

QUEBEC � Elections Canada has been asked to investigate the Conservatives after allegations the party is overseeing a group that operates partisan on-line Web logs.Canada�s election watchdog received a complaint yesterday from a disaffected party member who claims the Tories tried to sway political opinion in cyberspace in the leadup to, and during, the election by setting up the popular �Blogging Tories� website.

The site appears to be a coalition of like-minded individuals who have met in cyberspace to share their political opinions and express their frustrations with Paul Martin�s Liberals.

But a Victoria man, Eugene Parks, and Toronto Tory dissident Carole Jamieson allege the venture may be in contravention of the Elections Act and thirdparty financing laws. They say it may have �unduly influenced the election coverage and potentially the outcome of this campaign.�

Oh, laudy, no. Now we are doomed. I expect Joe Clark will soon rise from his grave and endorse Paul Martin, thus putting Harper over the top.

Doomed, I tell you.

David Warren of the Ottawa Citizen is, as we say, someone who "gets" blógs. As we say, "read the whole thing":

For the moment, to put it nicely, the same thing has happened to the Liberals in Canada, as has happened to other long-serving single-party regimes elsewhere in the world. Technology has caught up with their ability to manage information; and a sheltered population is losing its fear. The more the ruling party tries to scare them, with heavy-handed old-media campaigns, the worse things get -- for the ruling party.

As we say, "Indeed." As we also say, "Heh."

The rise of blógs as influential in this election was perhaps not as dramatic as in the 2004 US Presidential race, but significant nonetheless. And certainly most of their benefit redounded to the conservative side of the ledger. I can't think of any Liberal or NDP sites that had the impact of, say, Kate McMillan or Steve Janke, both of whom were relentless at digging up Liberal sleaze.

My own efforts were rather more modest; I did make fun of Paul Martin from time to time, though that was hardly some great achievement: More like mocking the afflicted.

I feel so . . . dirty. I will repent most sincerely on the morning of the 24th. Unless by some miracle the bastard gets in again, in which case I shall redouble my efforts.

Via Strong World

CBC:

McDonough and MacKay were sparring about constituency races in Nova Scotia. When he said she was using her reputation to drag NDP candidates across the finish line, she defended the NDP candidate running in his riding.

"We'll just see what happens," MacKay replied. "I think you better stick to your knitting and win your own riding."

McDonough immediately asked him if that was a sexist reference, and he said it wasn't. Then she said she would be delighted to have time to knit after the election because she has five grandchildren.

But after the radio program, McDonough told reporters she was surprised by his "sexist slur."

I can't find a link for it, but in the 2000 (I think) federal election, the oh-so-finicky Ms. McDonough had this to say about Premiers Ralph Klein and Mike Harris:

Is it the testosterone that makes them so stupid?

Maybe you should stick to your knitting, dear.

Update: Commenter blueright verifies my recollection and provides a link to a similar quote. So it looks like it was one of her standard [insert stupid male here] talking points.

let's tell the future
let's see how it's been done
by numbers by mirrors by water
by dots made at random on paper

suzanne vega

My heart says Conservative majority; my head says Conservative minority. Liquified deep within my bowels is the consideration that Martin will parlay his disgraceful campaign of fear and smear into a Liberal minority.

How's that for covering all the bases and/or organs? For what it's worth, I predicted a Conservative minority last time. That didn't turn out too well. On the other hand, I correctly foretold George Bush's reelection.

So this is the rubber match. I'll step out on a limb and call a slim Conservative majority (155-160 seats), and you can take that to the bank. What your banker will make of it is anybody's guess, but that'll be his problem, won't it?

Can you pick the dangerous criminals out of this collection of mug shots? (The other ones are harmless drug addicts.)

Via grow-a-brain

Not an auspicious start for CBC Newsworld, as it's been knocked off the air. No, wait -- it's back on. Unfortunately it's showing Rick Mercer.

Captain's Quarters is unreachable. I blame the CRTC.

Newsworld is still having troubles. Mansbridge sounds like Darth Vader.

I'm not liking what I'm seeing.

Here we go . . .

Incredible. Maritimes drank the Liberal Kool-Ade.

Libs: 70 Con: 81 NDP: 16 BQ: 24

Cons making up some territory, but too little, too late?

CTV projecting Con minority.

99-82 now. Wow. Cons up 22.8% in Quebec.

CBC declares Con minority.

OK, so my prediction was a bit off. I really thought the Tories would do better in the Maritimes.

Still, congratulations to Stephen Harper and his people. If he's as smart a politician as I think he is, he should be able to parley it into a majority in a couple of years.

And so I take my leave for the evening, knowing that the future of this country is looking a good deal brighter tonight.

Blogs:

Please leave a link in the comments if you wish to be listed here.

TV:

I'm abiding by the news blackout; if you are of a deviant, un-Canadian nature, you might want to take a look at the un-Canadian blogs above: Captain's Quarters, The Surly Beaver and Michelle Malkin.

wee-ooh wim-o-weh wee-ooh wim-o-weh
wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh
o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-weh

the tokens

Having done my small part for freedom and democracy, I now retreat to my natural habitat, there to slumber undisturbed. Unless Brian Tobin sticks his head up.

In which case, wake me by tossing small pebbles at my window.

Cartoon by Wiley Post

And because there's not a thing you can do to stop me. And because it's easier than writing something.

There are nekked wimmins on the Internets? Who knew?

Warning: NSFW uncropped image here.

And no, I have no idea what those blue things around her waist are. Possibly some sort of charm bracelet. I would have to examine it up close and personal to be sure.

So, the day after an historic election -- the first Westerner (I will exempt tokens like Joe Clark, John Turner, Kim Campbell) since John Diefenbaker -- to gain power and what does the CBC run with as its first story on The National?

Frank McKenna, resigning his post as Ambassador to the United States, to presumably lead the charge against the Conservatives. This was helpfully powerpointed with a graph that showed McKenna with 17% of a presumable vote, versus Brian Tobin at 11% and Belinda Stronach at 9%. You go, girl!

As always, these figures are uncorroborated, at least until CBC gets the guts to release a (free) transcript of its programs.

Harrumph. Next up was Stephen Harper's egregious blunder. He actually shook hands with his children as he dropped them off at school. As opposed to falling on his knees, in the drizzling rain, shouting "Sheila! I coulda been a contendah!

Or something like that. Like I say, release the transcripts and I will pick and choose my moments -- but surely more fairly than you do.

Heh. I said "do".

Oh my. Oh my.

What is it with women and refigerators? If I buy the latter, does it come with the former?

Can I suckle her children? I'm just askin'.

Oh my.

Redhead? check! Brunette? check! Blonde . . . blonde . . . I seem to have mislaid my blonde picture. I must have had a blonde moment. Though I assure you, she was very hot.

In the meantime, "Monique"! (Or whatever you'd choose to call her. If I had the time, I'd Photoshop her overexposed thumb. Or maybe not. It depends on which purposes "she" proposes to put it. Ohmigod. I'd never thought of . . . the bottle opener).

And if you are dumb enough to click on the NSFW link: Well, you probably didn't need that job anyway.

NSFW link here.

Update: It has been called to my attention that I "accidentally" put up the Paint Shop Pro "attempt" at avoiding "Monique"'s "naughty" "bits". I assure you that this is not the case. If "Monique" had "naughty" "bits," I would be pleased to show them. With "her" "permission," of course.

That doesn't mean that I'm not going to keep on looking.

Warning: NSFW link. My preemptive apologies to the lovely young model, Josie Maranzouk (I think that that's the correct spelling) for copyright infringement, etc. Also, she is all elbows and angles, or as Anthony Burgess memorably remarked, the equivalent of taking a bicycle to bed.

But O! those elbows! O! Those angles!

The actress Jessica Alba, unless I miss my guess. I've never actually seen one of her movies, so I must demur on commenting on her thespianism.

Though, frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Sorta Safe For Work (bikini shot -- I also did a bit of color correction on it -- bring me pink girls, or bring me . . . well, I'm in no position to negotiate. So bring me orange girls. Purple? Whatever. Hello? Hello?) here.

And here's a link to the Marie Claire story (tragically, none of the photographs are evident) that triggered this post. It's worth reading, because she really comes across as an intelligent, funny (and sexy, if that needs to be highlighted) woman.