This is an old (as you will gather) one, so apologies in advance if you've heard it.
It made my mom laugh, though, so tough titties.
Ahem.
Bill Clinton was wandering along a beach when he kicked over a vase and a genie spilled out, brushed the sand off his robes, and said:
I was going to give you three wishes, but since you have so rudely interrupted my slumber, I shall grant you only one!
To which, Clinton pulled a map from his pocket and said:
See? Here are the Serbs, and here are the Croatians, and here are the Muslims. I would like it very much if they could live in peace."
The genie laughed and said:
Are you out of your mind? Those people have hated each other since the Fall of Kosovo in 1272! * Pick something easier."
So Clinton pulled another map from his pocket and said:
See? Here are the Jews, and here are the Arabs, and here are the Christians. I would like it very much if they could live in peace.
The genie laughed and said:
Are you kidding me? Those people have hated each other since the Sack of Jerusalem in 458! * Pick something easier.
So Clinton blushed ** and said:
Well, when I was a young married man, Hillary would . . . she would give me a blow job from time to time. I surely did like that. Maybe we could relive those memories?
The genie laughed and said:
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* All dates approximate.
** Remember, this is a fictional account.
Let me see those maps again.