This photograph by Jason Reed of Reuters appeared in Saturday's National Post, and it made me laugh out loud. (Unfortunately this picture is of somewhat-lower resolution, and I was unable to find a better version.) It shows US Federal Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald (centre) of Scooter Libby and now Conrad Black fame, and what I presume are four members of his office, striding (briskly, one imagines) to a meeting. I think that the intent was to show the hard-charging, incorruptible Officer of the Court and his team on Official Business, and woe betide any pedestrians that get in the way.
What it reminded me of, though, were the late-night ads you see for law firms, where the lawyers (backlit and in soft-focus) snap their heads around in unison to stare into the camera, interspersed with slow-mo shots of them marching manfully (even the women!) through the corridors of power to do battle on your behalf.
Folks, this barely works for me when it's the Pussycat Dolls; and even then it's vaguely risible.
But on the off chance that you're pitching this to the networks, I think it could use some fine-tuning.
So let me put on my Casting Director's hat, which has my name on it and everything.
First, ditch the two frumps on the left. As anyone can tell you, female Department of Justice employees are invariably stunningly-attractive, impeccably-attired, and expert kick-boxers. Those two look like judges at a cat show.
Ditto with the guy immediately to the right of Fitzgerald, the one who looks like David Caruso on a three-day bender. We can hire the real thing if we have to. And what's with the angry-looking man at the far right? Is he trying to use a TV remote?
I could understand that -- if I saw this crew coming down the street at me, I'd be flipping channels, too.
Comments (6)
Cat show judges! I'm dying of laugh.
Posted by ptg | May 1, 2007 6:24 AM
Posted on May 1, 2007 06:24
Watch out -- your ignorance is showing. This photo was taken after the Libby verdict when Fitzgerald and his team were leaving the courthouse for a press conference on the steps. The man on the right is directing them to the podium.
Posted by setting it straight | May 1, 2007 1:21 PM
Posted on May 1, 2007 13:21
From l to r, you're looking at Deborah Bond of the FBI, whose work and testimony was crucial throughout the investigation and trial; Debra Bonamici, third on the team of trial attorneys; Fitzgerald; and Peter Zeidenberg, second on the team of trial attorneys -- those four had just won a historic case. The fellow on the far right is indeed directing them to the waiting microphones and cameras.
Soooo ... You wanna tell us some more about frumps and judges at cat shows?
Posted by skdadl | May 1, 2007 3:42 PM
Posted on May 1, 2007 15:42
Whoa. I thought it went extinct long ago, but I see that the Junior G-man Club has checked in. Time to reappraise that picture . . .
. . . nope, sorry. Once the charge of frumpitude has been leveled (by a qualified aesthetician such as myself) it is irrevocable. It's sort of like an Iron Law of the Universe or something.
Posted by gnotalex | May 1, 2007 9:27 PM
Posted on May 1, 2007 21:27
Wow. You managed to write a post that is both ignorant and cruel. What a peach you must be.
Posted by JD | May 2, 2007 4:37 AM
Posted on May 2, 2007 04:37
Visiting this blog was definitely a mistake.
Idjit
Posted by justme | May 2, 2007 7:59 AM
Posted on May 2, 2007 07:59