The Smoking Gun:
Meet Carlton Davis. The Minnesota man, 26, is facing felony charges for allegedly stealing a cell phone and purse from a woman he mugged on a St. Paul street early Saturday morning. According to police, after the woman turned over her belongings, Davis announced, "Now I'm going to suck your feet." Which he did, after the 24-year-old victim removed her shoes. Davis, who fled when passersby approached, was apprehended by cops a few blocks from the crime scene. He was booked into the Ramsey County lockup, where the below mug shot was snapped.
I had to dump the picture into Photoshop to lighten it up. The original at The Smoking Gun is so dark that you can barely make out his eyes.
Funniest line goes to a commenter at Fark:
Damn, you gotta hold back a bit. You sucked yourself crosseyed.