the blog quebecois

Are you ready to take on Mother Nature? In commem- oration of last year's snowed-out home opener, The Plain Dealer presents Snowball!, a game where you're the grounds crew, struggling to roll out the tarp before storms turn the field to mush.

Leave the tarp out too long, though, and time will run out before the Indians can get in a complete game. There are three levels, plus a hidden level you get to only if you can conquer the toughest challenge.

The "toughest challenge" is undoubtably staying awake long enough to see it, in what must surely be the lamest game of this year, or any other.

Warning: Sound, but you can mute it on the right. Use the up/down arrow keys to play.

Installing unapproved aftermarket air-conditioning equipment may invalidate your warranty in part or in whole.

On Deadline:

WANTED: Russian President Vladimir Putin's bodyguards are soliciting offers to provide 3,200 "white, female, laboratory mice ... between sixteen and eighteen grams" before the end of the year, according to Agence France-Presse.

Why does the Federal Guard Service need all those rodents? The French news agency says a Kremlin spokesman wouldn't answer questions about the $21,000 tender, which was published on a government website.

But Komsomolskaya Pravda, a Russian newspaper, theorizes that the tiny animals will be used to feed hawks that keep pigeons out of the Kremlin or test food that's prepared for high-ranking officials.

Either way, they probably will have to give their lives for the country's security, the paper says, according to a rough translation by Google.

Does it fall to me, again, to point out the bleedin' obvious? Given Putin's feline (if not feral) graces, they are obviously destined for late-night snacks.

The New York Times, presently being driven into the ground by Punch Sulzberger and Co., nevertheless remains an interesting read for things other than politics. Here its Interactive division highlights Al Jaffee's iconic "fold-ins," a feature of Mad Magazine from its beginning.

To see them in action, click on the right hand side of the page and drag it across to the left.

Macleans:

He describes himself as "a WASP boy from Smallville, Ontario," who from a young age was moved by the sacrifice his relatives and others around the world made to end Nazism [ . . . ]

They must be so proud.

Via Five Feet 5 Of Fury

Yet another Tower Defence game, but very well done, with ten different maps of varying difficulty; and waves of creeps disguised as, among other things, pumpkins and open-face sandwiches (I think). You have to register with the site to upload your high scores, but that's about the only inconvenience.

Warning: Music and sound effects, which you can mute with buttons at the top right.

Here's something new, at least to me. Flash characters superimposed on real-world scenes. You shoot them with your finger and a left mouse click. (Hey, if they can invade my world, my finger can be a gun. It's only fair.)

The picture shows what's coming at you after your second kill. Suffice it to say that things get a bit hectic after that. It took me about ten tries to get the screencap.

Warning: Music and sound effects, which you can mute with the M and A keys, respectively.

GorillaSushi does valuable interpretive (i.e., fabricates from whole cloth) work analyzing the thoughts of the spectators in this photo.

Also: It isn't always just ballplayers flying into the stands.

Warning: Language at both links.

A Photoshop contest from Cracked featuring unfortunate choices for movie baduns.

Warning: Language and some images NSFW.

10:06:18 AM Fletch: do we assume Pac's GI tract is reg'lar? Getting enuf dietery fiber?
10:06:22 AM Owen: this is for mature, healthy, nonsmoking male pac-adult
10:06:30 AM Fletch: that's the only way the word 'mature' ever gets into this conversation

The Internet gives us a forum to debate the great questions of the day. And when we run out of those, we turn our attentions to less-consequential matters, such as Pac-Man's excretory habits.

Warning: Language, as if you couldn't guess.

It looks like it's survived many a battle.

More unusual vehicles here.

Via The Presurfer

This picture, allegedly of some trailer park arrangement, has been making the rounds lately. Turns out, though, that it's actually an open-air set built for the Theater het Amsterdam Bos, for a 1995 production of Chekhov's Ivanov. More pictures (including the audience seating) here.

Not being familiar with the play, I looked it up on Wikipedia. It's a tragedy set in rural Russia in the 19th century, so I guess the producers figured it was transferable to a more modern setting. No idea whether it worked or not.

I'm the Mekuri Master, the Skirt-Flip King. The name isn't their idea... It's mine. I'm a man who was born to lift skirts. You think any so-called "rules" are gonna stop me? When classes get out, I race through the corridors like a fearsome wind, flipping, flipping, flipping up girls' skirts and letting the whole world know that I am the Mekuri Master!

Only in Japan, you say? (Or possibly Scotland.)

At any rate, click and drag the girls' skirts upwards as the "Mekuri Master" passes by. There's more explanation of the scoring, bonus rounds, etc. on the page -- scroll down to see it. Or you could watch this YouTube clip. Click here or on the picture to start. (If you want to play again after finishing the game, just click on the ending screen.)

Warning: Apart from the content (no nudity, but doubtlessly offensive to some), there's music and sound effects, both of which you can mute with buttons at the bottom right (marked with a speaker cone and the letters "BSG" respectively).

Remember to double over newsprint when used as a safety mask.

That is all. Carry on.

Scientists know this reflex as the "Coolidge Effect." It earned its name many years ago when [US President Calvin] Coolidge and his wife were touring a farm. While the President was elsewhere, the farmer proudly showed Mrs. Coolidge a rooster that "could copulate with hens all day long, day after day." Mrs. Coolidge coyly suggested that the farmer tell that to Mr. Coolidge, which he did.

The President thought for a moment and then inquired, "With the same hen?"

"No, sir," replied the farmer.

"Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge," retorted the President.

Via kottke.org

I don't know what to make of this. I ran across it at Breitbart.com, picking up on a NY Daily News report and the AP wire:

NEW YORK (AP) - New York Rangers forward Sean Avery was taken to a hospital in cardiac arrest hours after the team lost a playoff game to the Pittsburgh Penguins, the Daily News reported Wednesday on its Web site.

The newspaper reported Avery was unconscious and not breathing when he was taken to St. Vincent's Medical Center. The 28-year-old arrived about 3 a.m. Wednesday, a hospital source told the newspaper.

A person close to the team told the newspaper Avery had been rushed to the hospital.

The Rangers lost 5-3 at home Tuesday night, falling behind 3-0 in their second-round series with the Penguins.

Avery had an assist on the Rangers' second goal in Tuesday night's game.

Update: Just heard on the radio that the Rangers' super-pest is being treated for a lacerated spleen and is expected to miss the rest of the series (which isn't going to be much longer, anyway).