the blog quebecois

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.

Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.

The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."

"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."

"Why not?" asked the son.

Where do they all come from?

Daily Mail:

Archaeologists have discovered Stonehenge's little sister - just a mile from the famous monument.

The prehistoric circle, unearthed in secret over the summer, is one of the most important prehistoric finds in decades.

Researchers have called it 'Bluehenge' after the colour of the 27 giant Welsh stones it once incorporated - but are now missing.

The find is already challenging conventional wisdom about how Stonehenge was built - and what it was used for.

Bluehenge was put up 5,000 years ago - around the same time as work began on Stonehenge - and appears to have been a miniature version of it.

Obviously these so-called "researchers" failed to consult my fabled photo archives; for there they would have found the only known picture of Bluehenge.

"The Republican reaction was even more sternly worded.

"Seniors!" House minority leader John Boehner (R-OH) said. "Run for your lives! Obama is coming to kill you! He will kill all of you!"

The Daily Telegraph:

SWEDISH tourism bodies have been swamped with inquiries from millions of men captivated by a mythical town rumoured to be home to 25,000 sex-mad lesbians.

The town of ‘Chako Paul City’ is said to have been founded in 1820 in the northern Swedish woods by a wealthy man-hating widow.

Two blonde women are rumoured to stand guard at the town, which also features a medieval castle.

Many of the town’s female residents turned to homosexuality "because they could not suppress their sexual needs," Chinese news service Harbin News reports.

The myth has been embraced by the Chinese media, with millions of men crippling the country’s internet providers trying to find out how to get to the town.

However, men have been warned by media reports that they risk being "beaten half to death" by police if they dare pay a visit.

Warning: Music.

Cracked:

For those of you who never had older brothers, this technique, when applied to the forearm, is called an Indian Rugburn. We're not sure if the politically correct version would be an Indigenous American Rugburn or a Southeast Asian Rugburn, but that's irrelevant because when done to your manhood it would need a new term completely. Something like, "A crime a million times worse than genocide."

We're not even joking at this point. Seriously, don't do this. We're frowning over our keyboard. This has been banned by the Geneva Convention as an inhumane torture technique. They will build grim monuments to the men who have had this done to them.

Surely the cheezburger kittehs are next?

The Telegraph:

Six thousand bunnies were killed last year. The corpses were frozen and then sent to a special heating plant at Karlskoga, in central Sweden, where the cadavers were burnt in order to help heat the homes of residents of Värmland.

In January 2006 in New York, the patient of a well-known psychiatrist draws the face of a man that has been repeatedly appearing in her dreams. That portrait lies forgotten on the psychiatrist's desk for a few days until one day another patient recognizes that face and says that the man has often visited him in his dreams.

The psychiatrist decides to send the portrait to some of his colleagues that have patients with recurrent dreams. Within a few months, four patients recognize the man as a frequent presence in their own dreams.

The Presurfer ran this a few days ago. From the comments on his and other sites it seems to be part of a viral marketing campaign. For what exactly, I have no idea, but if you want to take a look the site is here.

Still, I was troubled by the image. I was sure I'd seen him before. And so I had.

Ananova:

. . . I'd still be broke.

Clearly he meant to spell it as "Guantanamera", the popular Cuban song, meaning the "girl from Guantanamo." Granted, that doesn't make much sense; but neither does marriage in Saudi Arabia.

A Saudi woman is seeking a divorce after discovering her husband had nicknamed her 'Guantanamo' on his mobile phone.

The woman made the discovery while examining the list of contacts in her husband's phone when he left it at home one day, the Al-Watan newspaper reports.

The Riyadh newspaper did not name the woman or her husband, who may live to regret comparing life with his wife with the US detention centre in Cuba. His wife has since decided to end their 17-year marriage and is seeking a divorce.

Instructions on catsitting by a(n apparently-insane) woman named Kelly. Full text here.

You wouldn't expect the crowd at Digg to be a bunch of cat-lovers and you would be correct in that guess. But that didn't stop them from offering much advice of their own.

Among other unfortunate family photos.

After gently unfastening the elastic strap keeping his dearest musings safe from prying eyes, little literary artiste Evan Stansky penned a few more darling thoughts into his clothbound Moleskine notebook Wednesday.

More.

A fun little platformer. You only have one key (spacebar) to jump and the usual enemies -- killer robots and gravity -- to contend with.

Warning: Music and SFX. Hit the Esc key to bring up the menu to mute (0 key) -- you'll have to hit Esc again, then click anywhere on the game screen to restart

A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.

St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any contact with a penis?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"