I was kind of surprised to find the first version of this. It was recorded on May 2 of 1982, about a year before I thought I'd written it. I do regard it as one of my better songs, if for the moment beyond my musical technique.
The problems I was having at the start were due to a microphone that just wouldn't stay put. (Why, you ask, did I not secure it with duct -- or more properly, gaffers' tape? The short answer to that is that I didn't have any duct -- or more properly, gaffers' tape. Sheesh.)
Bonus points for spotting the Pee-wee Herman reference (the "Wo-OH-oh-OH" at approx. 3:40). I have no idea where that came from. I've never seen his TV show or any of his movies. He was a favorite guest of Letterman, et.al. at the time though, so I probably picked it up from there.
Posted by gnotalex on April 5, 2010 8:16 PM
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April 6, 2010
Frankly, I Think That Maude Barlow's Got A Better Chance
The Victoria Times Colonist floats a dark horse for Governor General:
Finally, what about Ujjal Dosanjh? He would have to resign as MP for Vancouver South. But no member of Canada's Sikh community has ever served as governor general. Perhaps in exchange for the honour, he would be willing to give up his seat in Parliament.
Hmm, you say. Isn't that that rather odd, unpleasant fellow who recently claimed that Canadian officials, based on flimsy hearsay evidence, were guilty of war crimes (but not Canadian soldiers, uh-huh! Sorry, Ujjal, it don't work that way. That "I vas chust vollowing orders!" schtick died at the end of a rope at Nuremberg.). But stay with me here -- this could be a win-win for everybody involved.
By invoking what we will come to call the Dosanjh Doctrine -- the notion that following a previous governments' course of action for even an instant qualifies one to be sent up on phony charges -- we have set the stage for the most dramatic Governor General investiture evah. For recall that the position also encompasses the role of Commander-in-Chief of Canada's armed forces; a.k.a. Mr. Big War Criminal himself. So he will be attending in handcuffs, leaving for The Hague immediately thereafter. Thus we will have accomplished the following goals: a) We finally get to put the evil, evil Dosanjh behind bars; b) the Sikh community enjoys some (short-lived) fame; and c) Buh-bye, Ujjal!
U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Osaka Binn Rogen
"We have only one thing to say to this heinous individual," Gates added. "We will find you, Osaka Binn Rogen."
Based upon field surveillance and intelligence, officials recently widened the search for Orlama Win Roben by dispatching CIA paramilitary officers and Delta Force soldiers to track down, capture, or assassinate the terrorist leader, who has been described as a "very bad, very tall guy with a beard."
"Every single day our brave soldiers are out plastering wanted posters with Owanda Bun Luvin's face on buildings, telephone poles, and surrounding trees," Gen. Stanley McChrystal said. "We are constantly scouring the dangerous borderlands of Latvia for this terrible, terrible man."
"It's Latvia, right?" McChrystal added. "Either Latvia or Liberia or somewhere like that. You know, that general area."
Posted by gnotalex on April 9, 2010 8:16 PM
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April 11, 2010
Just Like A Woman
Another very early version of a song. Apart from a couple of minor lyric changes, it's pretty much the same as the "finished" version a couple of years later. I don't know where I recorded this, but judging by the sound, it was probably in a phone booth.
Helena Guergis is rejecting allegations, made by the Liberals in the House of Commons, that her husband, former MP Rahim Jaffer, used her government car and chauffeur and was allowed to use her parliamentary office to conduct his private business.
"I have never used the truck for personal use nor has Rahim," Ms. Guergis said in an e-mailed statement. All ministers are allowed the use of a car and a driver. Ms. Guergis's vehicle was a light truck, a blue sports-utility vehicle.
Though J. Edgar Hoover's minions often probed the interstate transportation of obscene material featuring Bettie Page, the notorious pin-up model was nonetheless willing to help agents when it came to FBI inquiries about the production of certain "flagellation and bondage pictures," according to bureau records. When a 1957 police drug raid on a Harlem apartment turned up a cache of obscene magazines and photos, paddles, a riding crop, a whip, and lengths of chain, rawhide, and rope, FBI agents contacted Page for some expert guidance. Specifically, they wanted to know if the apartment was a photo studio where obscene material was produced. According to the below memo sent to Hoover, Page told investigators that she "had never heard of that type of photography being made in Harlem." An agent reported that Page also advised that the "flagellation and bondage pictures that she had posed for" were shot "in photographic studios or photographers apartments." The seized porn, which included "two books and four pictures depicting Betty Page in various poses," was shipped to Washington for "examination" by the FBI Laboratory, according to a second memo.
I don't care what you do, toots, this birdie ain't singing, no way, uh-huh. What's that? You'll make me squeal like a pig?
Posted by gnotalex on April 16, 2010 8:15 PM
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April 18, 2010
Have You, Hold You
I suspect that every songwriter to some extent has one or more of these types of files. I refer to them as sketchbooks, not unlike what an artist keeps to make studies of interesting people, buildings and landscapes. A musician is of course concerned with other things -- guitar riffs; choruses, verses and fragments of same that tend to fade into oblivion unless you capture them quickly. This is especially true for melodies, which are by nature fragile and ephemeral (at least, mine were).
This is part of a chorus that I thought was pretty; though as far as I know, I never did resurrect it later for a song.
The 70's and 80's were indeed the Golden Age for Canadian game shows. I can only remember one, the name of which utterly escapes me. I believe the host was Jim Perry. It was shot daily in Montreal and apparently chose its contestants from that city's sizable junkie pool. At least, they were usually dressed that way and weren't shy about expressing their disappointment -- quite profanely, I recall -- at losing a round or a game. This involved sums the likes of $10 or $20, with $50 to $100 as a grand prize. This was in competition with the big American shows like The Price Is Right and Let's Make A Deal, with prizes of cars, major home appliances and thousands of dollars. So you can probably guess what we were more likely to watch.
I don't seem to have any recollection of Just Like Mom, which according to this Wikipedia entry, had a fairly long run, so I'm guessing it was only shown in Toronto/Southern Ontario.
Just Like Mom was a Canadian television game show which ran from 1980 to 1985 on CTV. A total of 595 episodes were taped at CFTO-TV in Toronto. It was hosted by Steven Young during the show's first season, but from the second season it was hosted by the husband-and-wife duo of Fergie Oliver and the show's creator Catherine Swing. The format was to determine which child and mother knew each other the best through answer-matching as well as the memorable Bake-off Challenge. Three teams, consisting of a young child and his or her mother (or occasionally father), competed on each episode.
.
Either that or I've developed a case of protective amnesia concerning the utter, utter horror of it all.
The parents were secluded offstage while the children answered several questions. Early in the show's run, they would choose from one of five categories for the questions, while later in the run, a specific question was pre-assigned to each team. During both runnings Fergie Olver would do everything he could to coerce the young children into kissing him. Each host would alternate between asking each child, making two cycles of the three children. Afterwards, the parents would come back and they would be posed same questions to see if they could match the answers their children gave, using a format similar to The Newlywed Game . A correct match on the first questions earned 10, and the the second was worth 15.
I don't know what's going on behind the scenes, but YouTube, Vimeo, Google Video, etc. have knocked down every attempt at posting this. I finally was able to download a copy and have posted it to my music server, so we'll see how long it survives there.
TORONTO - "Avatar" director-turned-activist James Cameron says Alberta's tar sands are a "black eye" to his native country's image as an environmental leader.
The Canadian-born filmmaker says he wants to learn more about the controversial Athabasca Oil Sands Project after being contacted by indigenous groups who are concerned by its impact.
He questioned why Canada is spending billions on extracting crude oil instead of pursuing sustainable options.
"I think it's bad, I think it's the wrong solution for us to be doing greater and greater environmental damage pursuing a dead-end paradigm, which is fossil fuels, instead of spending those billions ... on building wind turbines," Cameron said Tuesday from his home in Los Angeles.
"Those same areas are a great wind belt and we could be generating ... wind energy out of the same place. Why aren't we doing that?"
Who is this "we" you speak of, Kemosabe? You seem capable of generating great gusts of wind out of your rear end. I suggest you bottle it and try powering your limo with it.
South Park, which was created by Matt Stone and Trey Parker, previously portrayed a cartoon image of Mohammed in 2001 but the episode is now rarely seen.
A posting on a New York-based website Revolutionmuslim.com was accompanied by a graphic photograph of the Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh.
Van Gogh was assassinated in 2004 after making a documentary that was critical of the treatment of women in Islam.
The posting said: "We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show. This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them." The site also features a sermon by Anwar al-Awlaki, the radical Yemeni-American preacher, in which he talks about assassinating those who have "defamed" Mohammed.
Contacted by Fox News the author of the post, Abu Talhah al Amrikee, said he wrote the entry to "raise awareness." He told Fox News: "It's not a threat, but it really is a likely outcome.They're going to be basically on a list in the back of the minds of a large number of Muslims. It's just the reality."
Gee, thanks for the "heads-up," Abu! Allow me to "raise awareness" on yo' ass.
If we were living in saner times, you'd be taking a tour of your local police station, one wall at a time, clockwise; and yet again, counter-clockwise on your way out. But since the cops seem disinclined to defend our civilization, the rest of us must. I'll make you a prediction, monkey-boy: If anything happens to Stone or Parker, I got you in the Dead Pool at < 72 hours.
It's not a threat, but it really is a likely outcome. You're going to be basically on a list in the back of the minds of a large number of Americans. It's just the reality.
A SENIOR Iranian cleric says women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.
Iran is one of the world's most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric's unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate.
"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,'' Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi said.
Women in the Islamic Republic are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the more strict codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair.
"What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?'' Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon on Friday.
"There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes.''
Hey, with a minor change in the lyrics (well, it's better than "Islamic"), it works.
She was a fast machine
She kept her motor clean
She was the best damn woman that I ever seen
She had the sightless eyes
Telling me no lies
Knockin' me out with those American Iranian thighs
Taking more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there
'Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -
CHORUS:
Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long
Working double time
On the seduction line
She was one of a kind, she's just mine all mine
Wanted no applause
Just another course
Made a meal out of me and came back for more
Had to cool me down
To take another round
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing
'Cause the walls were shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -
CHORUS
And knocked me out and then you
Shook me all night long
You had me shakin' and you
Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me
Well you took me
[INSTRUMENTAL]
You really took me and you
Shook me all night long
Ooooh you
Shook me all night long
Yeah, yeah, you
Shook me all night long
Your really took me and you
Yeah you shook me, yeah you shook me
All night long
Never having sampled the delights of Iranian (hey, it's better than Islamic) thighs, I can only speculate; but if some hot Persian mama would care to demonstrate, I'll ejaculate.
From October of 1982, this was about the death of Bill Haley, who had the 1954 hit "Rock Around The Clock." (It is often referred to as the first rock record, though most musicologists credit Ike -- later to find fame as Tina's hubby -- Turner's 1951 recording "Rocket 88" with that trophy. Ironically, Haley, with an earlier band than the Comets, recorded a cover version of it, too.) Haley had died a year and-a-half before, and it was sad to read of his last years. He had a lifelong battle with alcoholism, and his increasingly erratic behavour -- pestering people in restaurants, showing them his driver's licence, etc. -- was largely blamed on that. It later came out that he had been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, so doubtless that explained part of it.
So herewith my exploration of the corrosive nature of fame and celebrity. Fortunately my steady character and unshakable principles (and, it should be noted, my completely non-existent musical career) will see to it that my death will be in utter obscurity and will be noted by only a few insignificant bloggers (assuming they have totally run out of other things to talk about), the way God intended it!
Before the dust had even settled over the ruins of Texas Stadium Sunday, internet forums and Twitter began to hum with rumors that “4/11 was an inside job”…that the alleged planned demolition was, in fact, a CIA plot.
The iconic domed arena, long-time home of the NFL Dallas Cowboys, collapsed after a series of explosions which Irving, Texas, city officials claim were planned in order to clear the site for future construction.
However, a careful analysis of YouTube videos reveals that the dome began to buckle a full 3/10ths of a second early, according to experts on Twitter. This means, they say, that “someone else destroyed the structure…someone who has an interest in stoking hatred and fostering rivalries within the NFL.”
Comedienne/metallurgist Rosie O’Donnell added her credentials to the growing list of experts who challenge the official version of events, insisting that “no authorities can be trusted to tell the truth as long as forces in our own government, still loyal to George W. Bush, control the global military industrial complex.”
Wait 'til she hears that all the Cowboys received specific warnings not to show up at the stadium that day, so only three of them were killed.
I tried to embed this but it wouldn't work. It was taken from inside the building and you can scroll through a 360-degree view of the events.
Posted by gnotalex on April 26, 2010 8:14 PM
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April 27, 2010
Zachary Chesser? Isn't That Kinda . . . Jewish?
Big Hollywood ran a piece today about Zachary “Abu Talhah Al-Amrikee” Chesser, the Islamist thug who lately has made veiled threats against South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. His website RevolutionMuslim.com is now down, but he continues to blog at RevolutionMuslim.blogspot.com. I wandered on over there. He seems quite the monomaniacal bore. I left a test comment, but it was held for moderator's approval. Judging by the volume of approved comments (1 on the front page), he's probably not getting a lot of attaboys. (Maybe a few from Mohammad Atta.)
The Conservative government is defending its nomination of a Quebec judge who used to be a lawyer for members of the Hells Angels.
The Tories named Jacques Leger, a former Conservative party president, to the Quebec Court of Appeal in January 2009.
But media reports have revealed that Leger advised members of the biker gang on commercial rights before he became a Quebec Superior Court justice in 2006.
The NDP and Bloc Quebecois blasted the government during question period over Leger’s nomination.
Natural Resources Minister Christian Paradis defended the appointment, saying that all candidates must go through a rigorous nomination process.
But when pressed by the NDP to elaborate on Leger's qualifications, the Tories stayed mum.
The opposition parties questioned whether the ex-Hells Angels attorney should be in a position
to preside over cases involving the biker gang.
Radio-Canada reported this week that Quebec Court of Appeal Chief Justice Michel Robert pulled Leger from a case that involved four Hells Angels.
The report said Leger had not raised any concerns about a possible conflict of interest in hearing the case.
Bloc Quebecois Leader Gilles Duceppe expressed outrage at the nomination.
"How can this government - this defender of law and order - be so partisan that it would name a judge to the Court of Appeal after he represented the Hells Angels?" Duceppe told the House of Commons on Thursday.
