the blog quebecois

Scrappleface:

The Obama administration today filed an injunction in federal court which would require an immediate halt to cleanup efforts in the Gulf of Mexico currently under way by the forces of nature.

The move comes as analysts confessed they’re having difficulty finding the millions of gallons which have spilled into the Gulf from a BP Deepwater Horizon well during the past month and a half.

Citing a variety of regulatory violations, including a failure to seek permits or to file paperwork in a timely manner, as well as use of non-approved cleanup techniques and biological dispersants, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) asked the federal judge to issue a cease-and-desist order until the government can complete a study of nature’s remediation efforts.

The study, funded by economic stimulus money in order to create jobs, will determine whether nature’s methodology comports with thousands of pages of federal regulation designed to protect citizens and wildlife from the harm often caused by activities that lack federal government sanction.

“If the oil continues to vanish at this rate without government approval,” said an unnamed EPA spokesman, “the American people face a threat worse than the initial spill: a crisis of confidence that could lead them to follow nature’s example, and to solve problems without waiting for action by the appropriate regulatory agency. I can assure you that nobody in Washington D.C. wants to see that happen.”