the blog quebecois

Jonathan Kay:

Mallick was a smart hire for the Star. Not only is is she getting people talking, she’s also a high-profile pick-up for a newspaper obsessed with "diversity." (Earlier this month, Star public editor Kathy English wrote a cringingly politically correct article lamenting all the "old white men" in the newsroom. "Ensuring that the Star reflects Toronto’s diversity is the responsibility of the entire newsroom," she wrote. "It is achieved in the sources we cite, the people we photograph and the way we play the news.") Yet, I can’t help but wonder how long it will be before Star writers get bored with the three, interrelated obsessions that infuse almost all of Mallick’s writing: (1) feminist self-pity; (2) a curdled hatred of the men (always white, often poor and unlettered) who allegedly scheme to oppress women; and (3) a creepy fascination with male sexual dysfunction, which she imagines to be the cause of everyone’s sorrow, metaphorically or otherwise.

So once again, it is left to a humble blogger to ask the question on everyone's (except for this humble blogger's. I can't speak for all of you sickos, though) mind: The pearls. What's with the goddamned pearls? Does she wear those things everywhere?

In the shower? On the toilet?

While doin' the (shudder) nasty? (Which summons up an equally unpleasant thought -- with whom? Who is the unfortunate tasked with servicing the Mallickosaur?

Judging by her writing, she seems quite lustfully enamoured with some poor sod named Rob Ford. If anyone can get a message to him, it should be: "Flee, Rob! Flee!")

Instead of dwelling on this image, let me propose a more congenial theory: As Mallick seems to have had her pearl fetish from birth, if not before, it may well be that she is simply paying homage to the graceful Kayan (known also as Padaung) women of Thailand. Like them, her neck muscles have atrophied from disuse; should the necklaces be suddenly removed, her massive ('cause it has so many words in it) skull would flop around uncontrollably, possibly incurring a fatal cervical injury in the process.

You see what can happen when we go to "Our Happy Place"?