the blog quebecois

A woman in her late 40s went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift. The doc tells her of a new procedure called "The Knob." A small knob is implanted on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up the skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift forever. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."

Fifteen years later the woman goes back to the surgeon for a consultation.

"All these years everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob on lots of occasions and I've loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems. First of all, I've got these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."

The doc looks at her and says, "Those aren't bags; those are your breasts."

Adam Graham:

With determination that would make Inspector Javert proud, federal prosecutors have the case set to go to trial on October 4th. The stakes could not be more significant. At issue is whether the fundamental right to self-defense allows people to protect their families from dangerous animals, or if such a high value is placed on an endangered species that human lives must only be in the greatest peril imaginable to justify a shooting.

Even if the federal government prevails, the prosecution of Jeremy Hill will most likely have results counterproductive to the stated goals of the Endangered Species Act. Families living in Grizzly Country, facing the same risks as Hill, will still act to protect their families. Given what has happened to Hill, one thing they won’t do is call the authorities. Had Hill not done this, he would not be facing the charge.

This would only become one more situation where the phrase “Shoot, shovel, and shut up” would be applied. When many farmers and ranchers find on their property a predator listed as an endangered or threatened species, to preserve their livelihoods and protect their families, they literally shoot the animal, bury the carcass, and say nothing.

The Jeremy Hill case should serve as a clarion call to reform the nearly four-decades-old Endangered Species Act. What Congress and the Interior Department have failed to recognize is that for the act to work effectively they need the buy-in of those who live in the same area as these species. That will not happen if the Endangered Species Act fails to provide reasonable protections for humans’ property and safety.

Whatever the verdict, the tone deaf prosecution has reinforced the feeling of many Americans living in the rural West: the federal government is as big of a menace to their livelihoods and safety as any beast in the forest.

It's rolling round the bend . . .

Murray Dobbin:

Who is out there in the constellation of potential candidates who could offer this vision of the party, and the country? Neither of the two major contenders, Thomas Mulcair, whose arrogance in a recent interview created a wave of ridicule amongst the Twitter crowd, nor Brian Topp, who aided Roy Romanow's Blair-ite government in Saskatchewan, fit the bill.

But Libby Davies would be just such a candidate. One of the earliest members of the NPI, Davies has always recognized the importance of both extra-parliamentary movements and activists -- who return the favour with huge respect and support -- and the necessity of keeping the party engaged in her riding's issues year round. I hope she runs, despite her lack of French. Or that at least she uses her considerable influence to ensure the election of someone who shares her vision of truly democratic politics -- the vision that was Jack's.

Li . . .BBY . . . Li . . .BBY . . .Li...BBY...Li...BBY...Li-BBY...Li-BBY...Li-BBY...LiBBY...LiBBY (WOO-WOO!) LiBBYLiBBLiBBY (WOO-WOO!) LIBBYLIBBYLIBBY...(WOO-WOO!)

The LIBBY Express has left the station. Be on it.

. . . or be under it.

(screenshot at link -- click to enlarge)

Big Journalism:

[Jimmy Hoffa Jr.] supporters have created a Facebook page on which they have posted the address of tea partier Justen Charters and are encouraging fellow Hoffa supporters to send human excrement through the federal mail system. Why? Because Charters came up with the idea to sent 1,000 tea bags to Jimmy Hoffa, Jr.

Earlier today I heard from progressive media types that Hoffa’s words were just rhetoric, “nothing will come of it.” Really?

Can progressives point to a comparable disgusting act organized by conservatives?

Is this what is to be expected when Americans dissent? Violence and being called a “son of a bitch” by a screechy fat cat union boss? How long will the NYT and other outlets continue to ignore this? Will progressives condemn it?

I wouldn't hold your breath on that one (though I would recommend it when opening certain packages with a Teamsters' metered postage stamp).

These people could be in for a rather unpleasant surprise, though. Human feces (or any feces, for that matter) are classed as a biohazard, and can only legally be shipped with appropriate packaging and labeling. I didn't have time to Google the appropriate legalese, but this summary from the University of Florida's Biological Safety Office outlines the possible consequences:

2. Penalties for violations -

Civil penalties $250 –$27,500 per violation per day

Criminal penalties (willful violations) up to $500K, 5 yr in jail

It would seem to me that this use would fall into the latter category and also (just guessing here) would usefully provide much DNA evidence.

And that's just for starters. An enterprising DA could surely hang a conspiracy rap on these bozos. Maybe even something terrorism-related.

In practice it has turned out to be strongly redistributionist, but only because of its Ponzi game aspect, in which each generation takes more out than it put in. Well, the Ponzi game will soon be over, thanks to changing demographics, so that the typical recipient henceforth will get only about as much as he or she put in (and today’s young may well get less than they put in).

Of course we all recognize that bit of inflammatory scare-mongering from Gov. Rick Perry’s book “Fed Up!” in which he tells the inconvenient truth about Social Security that every American knows but no politician is forth-right enough to confront. That in its current state, it is doomed to fail and leave generations that had paid into it stuck without the return they were promised. In short: A Ponzi Scheme.

I knew he was too stupid to have thought of it all by himself.

My cousin said after hearing this, "Aren't you exaggerating this a bit?" I laughed and said, "Probably, but it's only rock and roll."

What "it" was was a local political matter that in retropect has faded into the obscurity that it deserves. At the time though, I was convinced that the media only served up the gospel truth; and they were unanimous in their opinions: that this represented nothing less than the bony hand of Uncle Adolf hisself reaching from the grave to defile the innocent, pure flower that was Canada. (Hey, the new Nazis wouldn't show up for a few decades.) They wouldn't lie about something like that, would they?

Warning: Language.

Fun with statistics with everyone's favorite curmudgeon (actually, I think he's a bit too young and uncranky for proper curmudgeonish status, but words fail me again), Colby Cosh:

Hi! Here’s a table of reported sexual offences for the city of Vancouver for a particular group of months.

If you adjust the figures slightly for Vancouver’s population growth and look at the annual playoff progress of the city’s beloved Canucks, what you’ll find is that you can’t use these numbers to prove much of a link between NHL hockey and sexual violence. But if there is one, it’s probably negative. July is (at a high level of statistical significance) the worst month for sexual offences; it’s also the only one of these months in which hockey is never played. In months during which the Canucks were eliminated from Stanley Cup contention, the rate of sexual offences was, on average, more than 20% lower than in other months. There were more sex offences in months with less hockey even if you correct for pure date effects, and the lockout year (2005) had a higher rate of sex offences than either the year following or the year prior.

No, Colby hasn't lost his mind: he's just having some well-deserved laughs at the execrable (Boss! Boss! The words! The words are back!) termagant Laura Robinson.

Chicago Tribune:

All it took to give nearly two dozen labor leaders from Chicago a windfall worth millions was a few tweaks to a handful of sentences in the state's lengthy pension code.

The changes became law with no public debate among state legislators and, more importantly, no cost analysis.

Twenty years later, 23 retired union officials from Chicago stand to collect about $56 million from two ailing city pension funds thanks to the changes, a Tribune/WGN-TV investigation found.

Because the law bases the city pensions on the labor leaders' union salaries, they are reaping retirement benefits that far outstrip the modest salaries they made as city employees. On average, their pensions are nearly three times higher than what the typical retired city worker receives.

No one from either the state Legislature or city government will take credit for the law, which passed in 1991, and the process of drafting pension legislation in Springfield is so shrouded in secrecy that there's no way of knowing exactly whom to hold responsible.

The numbers appear to be some sort of state double-special-secret, but be assured that Canadian labor goons are similarly well-compensated. Makes you feel all "scrunchy" inside, huh?

Just an average song, but we were by this time paying more attention to internal rhythms and accents -- the little things that take an average song and turn it into an average song with more attention paid to internal rhythms and accents.

Or something like that.

Previous: Con Game

A few weeks ago, the former White House communications director Anita Dunn was quoted in the Washington Post as saying,

“I remember once I told Valerie [Jarrett] that, I said if it weren’t for the president, this place would be in court for a hostile workplace,” Dunn is heard telling Suskind. “Because it actually fit all of the classic legal requirements for a genuinely hostile workplace to women.”

And I saw it as a positive sign for Barack Obama. If there's anyone who he should be hostile to, it should be that moronic dishrag Dunn. This is the woman, you might recall, who idolized Chairman Mao.

Jim Geraghty:

Still, this brouhaha is a useful marker of how our national expectations are changing. There as a time when Americans would be surprised if the White House wasn’t a hostile workplace for women. Then there was a time when Americans would be surprised if the White House [w]as a hostile workplace for women. And at the current rate, in the near future, Americans will respond to reports like this by asking, “What’s a workplace?”

Via Ace Of Spades HQ

CTV:

Climate change will cost Canada about $5 billion a year by 2020, a startling new analysis commissioned by the federal government warns.

Those costs will continue to climb, to between $21 billion and $43 billion a year by the 2050s, the report estimates. It all depends on how much action is taken to cut global greenhouse-gas emissions, as well as how fast the population and the economy grow too.

In the worst-case scenario, climate change could cost as much as $91 billion per year by 2050.

You scoff, but consider:

The report was issued Thursday morning by the prestigious National Institute For Pulling Numbers Out Of Our Asses.

Sounds about right to me. (Portions of the preceding sentence might have been accidentally edited for clarity.)