the blog quebecois

from the wild with a joek.

Well, of sorts. Just checking in after all the Xmas madness. Will be some time before I can resume my usual blinding pace.

Montreal Gazette:

In one of the complaints, probationary clerical worker David Pembroke said that Chotalia began harassing him after he turned down her request to assume the duties of her executive assistant who was absent on stress leave. (The executive assistant eventually found work elsewhere in the government and didn't return).

Pembroke, who said he turned down the work because he didn't feel qualified to do it, said Chotalia ended a discussion by "waving her hand over her head in a dismissive and what I consider a demeaning manner.'' She denied this.

It's too bad I don't have a webcam. Not only are you deprived of the sight of me prancing around naked; but you cannot see me waving my hand over my head in a dismissive and a demeaning manner in response to young Master Pembroke.

In addition, I am wiggling my fingers, the traditional Iroquois method of signalling complete derision.

If that doesn't finish off the little pansy, then my mission will have failed.

A rewrite (the original doesn't seem to be available). I came up with entirely new lyrics, though I probably should have quit before the bridge. I can't make out what I was singing, apart from the words "telephone" and "heartless," but it definitely had too many syllables.

The opening guitar lines are a bit noisy, bluesy, and sloppy (to complete the coveted "-y" trifecta).

========================

[Verse]

Should I rent out a billboard
Put out an ad
Should I hire a skywriter
Would that make you mad?

Should I call up your girlfriend
And ask where you are
Fly down to Rio
Is that going too far?

-------------------------------------------------
[Chorus]

Yeah, just so you know
I want you to know
Just so you know
I want you [rpt.]
-------------------------------------------------
[Verse]

Should I distribute handbills
With your name and your face
Paste them all over
All over the place?

Should I engage a detective
Call the police
Jump from the rooftop
And land in your tree?
-------------------------------------------------
[Chorus]
-------------------------------------------------
[Bridge]

Something, something, telephone
Something, something, heartless
-------------------------------------------------
[Chorus]

==================

AMERICANS can urinate on our dead bodies as much as they feel like, the Taliban said last night.

The laid-back Afghan militia insisted footage of three US marines desecrating the corpses of Taliban fighters was 'no biggie'.

A spokesman said: "Why would you think this would bother us? Why would you think this would make us redouble our efforts to kill as many of you as we possibly can and make Vietnam look like a bunch of bonged-up students playing a game of Pictionary?

"It's just three guys having a laugh at the end of a hard day's work. Hey, we know the feeling and we're totally cool with it."

Another one with just bass and guitar -- I must have overdubbed the vocals later. I improvised most of the chorus.

In retrospect, my inability to come up with the names of weapons, drugs and "men's magazines" (not the Playboy types; more of the paranoid/survivalist variety) should be seen as a Good Thing.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Previous: Meth

Lo, in the twilight days of the second year of the second decade of the third millennium did a great darkness descend over the wireless internet connectivity of the people of 276 Ferndale Street in the North-Central lands of Iowa. For many years, the gentlefolk of these lands basked in a wireless network overflowing with speed and ample internet, flowing like a river into their Compaq Presario. Many happy days did the people spend checking Hotmail and reading USAToday.com.

But then one gray morning did Internet Explorer 6 no longer load The Google. Refresh was clicked, again and again, but still did Internet Explorer 6 not load The Google. Perhaps The Google was broken, the people thought, but then The Yahoo too did not load. Nor did Hotmail. Nor USAToday.com. The land was thrown into panic. Internet Explorer 6 was minimized then maximized. The Compaq Presario was unplugged then plugged back in. The old mouse was brought out and plugged in beside the new mouse. Still, The Google did not load.

Via Metafilter, where the comments are filling up with the valiant songs of the "computer whisperers," as they shall forevermore be praised.

Rush Limbaugh:

That is just outrageous. In the first place, this country is not a zero-sum game. This economy's not a zero-sum game. That means if you get a dollar somebody loses it, that's not the case. That does not mean if you get fired, somebody gets hired. Or if you get hired, somebody gets fired. That's a zero-sum game and that's not what this country is. The American people are not looking at things like he just described it. Obama plans on being filthy rich when he gets out of the Oval Office. Obama is planning right now how to become filthy rich without having to do any more work and without having to write any more phony books or paying somebody else to write 'em, whatever the hell happened there. And he is exempting himself from criticism for becoming filthy rich with this crap.

(imitating Obama) "We don't begrudge financial success. We admire it. Hell, people like me talk about not paying my fair share, it's not 'cause they envy the rich. It's 'cause they understand that when I get tax breaks I don't need..." Spare us the pain and misery of a tax cut you don't need. That's how the Clintons do it. It's how the Kennedys did it. It's how Bill Gates... Jobs didn't do it, Steve Jobs didn't do it. He took the money, kept it, and he cut off all philanthropy at Apple. That's another thing. Here's Obama wailing and moaning about outsourcing jobs and manufacturing jobs, and then there's Jobs' wife that was invited. There's no greater outsourcer of work in this country than Apple -- and I'm not criticizing it -- and yet there's Steve Jobs being praised by Obama last night.

I saw the Apple financials. They blew it out, set a record. I listened to their conference call and their earnings report. As you people know, I'm an Apple evangel. But my point is, here's Obama ripping into American businesses that ship jobs overseas, and nobody does that better than Apple. And yet there's Apple being honored. I'll tell you, this was a mass of confusion, hypocrisy, lies, distortions and a failed attempt of a failed president to attach himself to America's greatness, when he wouldn't recognize it if it slapped him upside the head.

I wanted a quieter sound for this. Even with our crappy one pickup electrics, there were techniques -- varying the pick attack, chord arpeggiations, playing fingerstyle -- that could create the softer textures we were after.

Or you could just do what I apparently did and turn the line inputs WAY down.

Wallah! Genius!

Slate:

Adopters were told not to mingle with the animals, but that specific dogs would be brought to them. While Rusty was otherwise engaged, M. asked if they could look at some of the other dogs but almost all were declared not suitable for children. As the family waited, the children sat on the ground and started writing in the dirt with sticks. A volunteer came over, alarmed. He reprimanded them, saying that if a dog sees a stick in a person’s hand it will expect that stick to be thrown, and it’s not fair to frustrate a dog.

Eventually, Rusty was brought over. He was a little hyper but everyone agreed he was fine. M. told the rescue group they wanted him, and when the family returned home they started buying dog supplies. But a call from the group aborted their plans. “We had a report about inappropriate behavior by your children,” M. was told, which meant they would not be allowed to adopt. M. and her husband were astounded and the children were crushed.

* With apologies to Kate.

Global:

In a speech to students at Carleton University, [Chief Justice Beverley] McLachlin said the media in general are essential to building public trust in the administration of justice.

But she says newspapers, radio and television are "old technology" at a time when anyone with a keyboard can create a blog and call themselves a journalist.

She wondered whether fairness and accuracy might be lost in the world of Facebook, tweets and instant messaging, which she says are part of a profound, cultural shift in how people communicate.

"Some bloggers will be professionals and academics providing thoughtful commentary and knowledge," she said. "Others will fall short of basic journalistic standards. Will accuracy and fairness be casualties of the social media era?

"What will be the consequences for public understanding of the administration of justice and confidence in the judiciary? How can a medium such as Twitter inform the public accurately or adequately in 140 characters or less of the real gist of a complex constitutional decision?"

Beverley McLachlin is an idiot.Beverley McLachlin is a doofus.Beverley McLachlin is 3 clowns.Beverley McLachlin is a moronn.Beverley McLach

So there ya go, Bev. Four and 17.85% complete thoughts (well, the pentultimate one has a bit of a spelling error) in only 140 characters. Seems pretty accurate to me. YMMV.