the blog quebecois

The Borowitz Report:

The mission, which the intelligence agency had hoped to keep secret, came to light this week when al-Qaeda dismissed two of its top officials who it said were responsible for “unacceptably speculative” betting of the terror net’s funds on credit default swaps.

Across the intelligence community, the dismissals caught the attention of analysts, who thought such risky behavior seemed out of character for al-Qaeda.

“The first thing I thought was, this sounds more like the work of JP Morgan,” one analyst said, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Al-Qaeda has a reputation for being madmen, but even for them these investments were crazy.”