« December 2012 | Main | February 2013 »

January 2013 Archives

January 2, 2013

Miss Him Yet?

Well, considering the jug-eared purple-lipped gimlet-eyed psychopath presently squatting in 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. (or Hawaii or wherever he's off to on the latest of his many, many vacations) . . . yep.

Victor Davis Hanson:

Yet, as with all presidents, with time and a successor come perspective. So it is not hard to see why the out-of-office Bush’s likability ratings are slowly inching back up — most recently to 46 percent. For reflection on Bush’s eight years in office, take a look back at the six aspects of his presidency that harmed his popularity most — Iraq and its attendant controversies, the federal response to Hurricane Katrina, the so-called Bush-Cheney anti-terrorism protocols, the September 2008 financial meltdown, the chronic budget deficits, and the general impression that Bush was singularly inarticulate and prone to embarrassing gaffes.

January 6, 2013

Dances With Arteriosclerosis

theresa-spence_hunger_strike_20130104

CTV:

Toronto MP Olivia Chow says she’s recovering and feeling well after being diagnosed with a virus that affects the movement of one side of her face.

Chow announced she was recovering from Ramsay Hunt syndrome in a Friday statement, saying she looks somewhat different these days but remains healthy and in fine shape to work.

“One of the symptoms of Ramsay Hunt syndrome is a temporary disorder of the nerve that controls movement of the muscles in the face,” she said. “In my case, it has affected the left side of my face, making it difficult to smile, laugh and put in my contact lens… It will not affect my work as a Member of Parliament. I continue to swim, run and bike regularly. You will just have to imagine that I am smiling.”

I sense a win-win here. We send her to negotiate with Chief Walking Eagle * and she retains an inscrutable Stone Face throughout. (A wee bit of Botox should paralyze her vocal cords altogether.) Spence, enraged, flounces off to redouble her "hunger strike" (Cheezeboigers no 'mo!).

Alternatively, Spence pulls her pathetic tottering invalid (see photo) routine. It is impossible for any normal human being (in which category I will temporarily place Chow, despite her NDP baggage) to witness this bathos without breaking into uproarious laughter. Spence, enraged, flounces off to redouble her "hunger strike" (Cheezeboigers no 'mo!).

You're welcome, Olivia!

(* Old joke.)

January 9, 2013

The Fat Blue Line

Christie Blatchford:

To the astonishment of the judge, however, nothing of the sort happened with his first order.

CN served the right people — the chief of the Aamjiwnaang Chippewas of Sarnia, the band office and of course the Sarnia police.

Evidence at the continuation hearing showed that process servers and CN officials went to the blockade — there were never more than 50 protesters there, sometimes just a handful of people — and tried desperately “to engage” the Sarnia police.

One Sarnia staff-sergeant told a CN inspector that his force would not assist in serving the order. An inspector told him “their regular members have been directed not to attend at the blockade,” an order that I have confirmed independently. (Sarnia rank-and-file officers were told “there would be absolutely no enforcement, observation of, or engagement at any level.”)

In fact, one staff-sergeant, Jeff Hodgson, who stopped by the blockade did so only to join a circle of protesters who were drumming; the YouTube footage of that little exercise is still online.

The CN inspector was also told that Sarnia police “advised they would not accompany them to the blockade, but did provide a police radio.”

CN lawyers were back in court before Judge Brown on Dec. 27, on which occasion the force didn’t even bother to send anyone to appear.

“I must confess,” the judge said that day, “that I am shocked by such disrespect shown to this court by the Sarnia police.”

I've got the sure fire cure for these shenanigans. Henceforth, all welfare extortion "Just because you're so special!" payments will be transported exclusively by rail. That should take care of the natives.

And as the cops famously have little regard for the law these days but instead seem to look at it as their ticket to juicy, juicy salaries and pensions to kill for (And mirrored sunglasses! The top-of-the-line ones, the Ray-Bans!); well, those, too (Don't forget the shades!), will also be delivered strictly by railroad.

Those trains will be humming through as if Mussolini had taken over.

January 13, 2013

Trust Hollywood To Only Show The Glamorous Aspects Of War

LOS ANGELES—According to reviews this week of Kathryn Bigelow’s thriller Zero Dark Thirty, which chronicles the 10-year hunt for Osama bin Laden, the film’s climactic scene features a team of U.S. Navy SEALs shrieking in terror as they gradually kill the al-Qaeda leader by throwing a variety of nearby objects at him. “The mood is tense and silent as SEAL Team Six infiltrates the infamous Abbottabad compound, but then all hell breaks loose when bin Laden emerges from behind a door, causing the whole squadron to start yelling wildly as they pelt him with shoes, cups, and flimsy pieces of drywall,” wrote New York Times film critic Manohla Dargis, who mentioned that the hectic five-minute sequence shows bin Laden stumbling around with his head stuck in a sweatshirt thrown by one of the SEALs, bashing into various fixtures and shouting, “Ow, ow!” “Meanwhile, in the helicopter floating above the hideout, two SEALs scream directly into each other’s faces while they desperately try to fly the aircraft away from bin Laden, who is also screaming throughout the entire scene.” The remainder of the film then reportedly focuses on the SEALs tentatively kicking bin Laden’s corpse before retreating several feet and anxiously watching to see if he is still moving.

January 15, 2013

I Have The Wine

Now don't be too hard on this little lady. It's a common mistake, getting the iconic title of a Johnny Cash song somewhat wrong.

(FYI: " I Have The Wine" and "I Walk The Line" are mutually exclusive concepts -- at least when it comes to those annoying roadside sobriety checks.)

January 16, 2013

That Boat Done Sank

Lorne Gunter:

Once, after I’d written about the standoff at Caledonia, Ont. — in which a group of Mohawk squatters took over a subdivision, intimidated local residents, blockaded roads and assaulted police until the Ontario government bought them the subdivision and gave it to them — an aboriginal activist wrote to my editors insisting I didn’t understand the relationship between First Nations and the rest of Canada.

Aboriginals were not like other Canadians, she insisted. Their communities were not just ordinary communities. “We are like two canoes together in the same stream, each separate but sharing the same current.”

That may sound meaningful, even poetic, but it is largely rubbish.

If aboriginal and non-aboriginal Canadians are like two canoes, how come we non-aboriginals largely paid for both canoes and do most of the paddling in each, too?

All payments to Indian bands involved with this nonsense should cease. They are flagrantly flouting the agreements that they entered into when they signed those treaties, which specifically forbade them to interfere with commerce or the freedom of Canadians to travel and work. I see no reason why they should have a claim to taxpayers' dollars while they attempt to cripple our economy.

January 20, 2013

Trillion Dollar Babies

Mark Steyn:

That’s Paul Krugman’s solution for America as it prepares to bust through another laughably named “debt limit”: We’d be a nation that hasn’t a cent in the world but just a trillion-dollar coin — and what more do we need? As with Gregory Peck in the movie, the mere fact of the coin’s existence would ensure we could go on living large. Indeed, aside from inflating a million quid to a trillion bucks, Professor Krugman’s proposal economically prunes the sprawling cast of the film down to an off-Broadway one-man show with Uncle Sam playing every part: A penniless Yank (Uncle Sam) runs into a wealthy benefactor (Uncle Sam) who has persuaded the banking authorities (Uncle Sam) to mint a trillion-dollar coin that will allow Uncle Sam (played by Uncle Sam) to extend an unending line of credit to Uncle Sam (also played by Uncle Sam).

This seems likely to work. As for the love interest, in the final scene, Paul Krugman takes his fake dead girlfriend (played by Barack Obama’s composite girlfriend) to a swank restaurant and buys her the world’s most expensive bottle of champagne (played by Lance Armstrong’s urine sample).

January 22, 2013

A Star Is Born

coma_chameleon.jpg

January 23, 2013

The Perpetual Idling Machine

The Tyee:

Beginning this year, the Gitga'at and seven neighbouring First Nations (see sidebar "The Coastal First Nations") will "harvest" one million tonnes of "carbon offsets" from the Great Bear Rainforest, sharing millions of dollars in revenue with the province over the next century.

That harvest was created, counterintuitively, by putting vast areas of the Great Bear off-limits to industrial-scale logging. By leaving more trees standing, the First Nations are able to sell certificates attesting to the increasing volume of carbon stored in their roots, leaves and fibre. Purchasers may claim the carbon thereby removed from the atmosphere to offset their own direct greenhouse emissions.

So, if I understand their business model, they get stupid liberals (but I repeat myself) and their stupid governments to send them money, and they in return do, uh . . . nothing.

Sounds moronic to me, but then what do I know of the workings of The Great Spirit Bear or whatever.

I'll tell you this, though -- call me crazy, call me a cockeyed optimist, call me drunk (which might be technically true at the time of writing); but I'll bet those zany Indian kids might, just might be able to pull this one off and save Aunt Bea's farm from the evil bankers.

GreatSpiritBearbless and GreatSpiritBearspeed.

January 27, 2013

Probably Satire, Though The Part "Six hours later . . ." Certainly Seems Plausible

The Daily Mash:

UNSIGHTLY wind turbines have attacked a school near Swindon, leaving a trail of dismembered corpses in their wake.

The so-called renewable energy devices went on the rampage after they were struck by lightning during an electrical storm, causing them to become animated with a malevolent lust for human blood.

Local resident Nikki Hollis said: “I dropped my kids off at school when suddenly there was screaming. Looking up, I saw about fifteen wind turbines hopping over the horizon, their blades dripping with red.

“Anyone in their path was being stomped or cut to ribbons. The turbines were making a high-pitched whirring sound which I believe was their hellish laughter.

“It seemed that they really wanted the children. Perhaps because their blood is fresher.

“We crowded the kids into the school hall, barricading the doors and windows. Unfortunately the headmistress Mrs Gerving was too old and slow, probably, so we left her outside.

“I remember seeing her spleen bounce off the window. Thankfully she was a spinster, so no-one will mourn her death.


Continue reading "Probably Satire, Though The Part "Six hours later . . ." Certainly Seems Plausible" »

January 28, 2013

Guantánamo Kabuki

The Telegraph:

Richard Kammen, the lead counsel for Abd al-Rahim al-Nashiri, who was convicted in Yemen over the bombing of USS Cole but is also facing conspiracy charges at Guantánamo, said the government had seriously undermined Gen Martins's position as chief prosecutor. "The sub-context of this is, 'Who's in charge?' And to what extent does Gen Martins have any real authority in this case, other than to give speeches?" said Mr Kammen.

I don't think it matters that much. My prediction: Obama pardons every single Muslim jihadi (including Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the Fort Hood shooter and the Blind Sheikh). But he'd better hurry -- they'll all be dead from old age soon.

January 29, 2013

The Obama Simulacrum

Mark Steyn:

If I’m following this correctly, according to one spokesperson for the Marine Corps Band, at Monday’s inauguration Beyoncé lip-synced to the national anthem but the band accompanied her live. However, according to a second spokesperson, it was the band who were pretending to play to a pre-recorded tape while Beyoncé sang along live. So one or other of them were faking it. Or maybe both were. Or neither. I’d ask Chuck Schumer, the master of ceremonies, who was standing right behind her, but he spent the entire performance staring at her butt. If it was her butt, that is. It might just have been the bulge of the Radio Shack cassette player she was miming to. In an America with an ever more tenuous grip on reality, there’s so little to be sure of.

Whether Beyoncé was lip-syncing to the band or the band were lip-syncing to Beyoncé is like one of those red pill/ blue pill choices from The Matrix. Was President Obama lip-syncing to the Founders, rooting his inaugural address in the earliest expressions of American identity? (“The patriots of 1776 . . . gave to us a republic, a government of, and by, and for the people, entrusting each generation to keep safe our founding creed.”) Or maybe the Founders were lip-syncing to him as he appropriated the vision of the first generation of Americans and yoked it (“preserving our individual freedoms ultimately requires collective action”) to a statist pitch they would have found utterly repugnant.


January 30, 2013

7 Horrible Ways The Universe Can Destroy Us Without Warning

Cracked:

But the thing with the universe is that it's kind of a largish place. However sophisticated our current equipment may seem, it's still the equivalent of shining a cereal-box flashlight into the ocean to try to spot the bottom. So whenever new technology enters the game, new data enters the equation, and we have to revise our appropriate terror levels for it. For instance, the new Pan-STARRS telescope system has, within the past five months alone, found no less than 19 completely unknown asteroids that pose a potential danger to Earth. And these have been buzzing around a mere 7.5 million kilometers away. Universally speaking, that's not on our doorstep -- that's right in our goddamn living room, ransacking our drinks cabinet and making offhand remarks about our place looking really flammable and how "It would be a shame if anything bad happened to it."

jupiter.jpg

I bought a copy of Universe Sandbox (pictured) during the last Steam sale. It was well worth the couple of bucks I spent (it's back up to $10, which might be a bit much) to play God.

So far I've just been tootling around our Solar System, which is a nice enough little neighborhood, all things considered. It's a bit disconcerting, though, to watch those hundreds of big rocks whizzing around up there. And those are just the ones we know about.

Sweet dreams and sleep tight.

About January 2013

This page contains all entries posted to the blog quebecois in January 2013. They are listed from oldest to newest.

December 2012 is the previous archive.

February 2013 is the next archive.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

Powered by
Movable Type 3.33