Entries from the blog quebecois tagged with 'funny'
With Two You Get Egg Lorr, Fuckface
CBC: Beijing's representative in Ottawa says Chinese firms are not involved in foreign espionage and he challenges anyone who says otherwise to produce evidence or keep quiet, in a rare interview airing Saturday on CBC Radio's The House. Zhang Junsai,...
Greater Love Hath No Dog Than This,
that a dog lay down his life for his friends. Watch the latest video at video.insider.foxnews.com Or at least tow them back to shore. Via Ace Of Spades HQ...
Birth Of A Truck Driver
Brings a tear to my eye every time I see it....
Ein Purl, Ein Stitch, Ein Fuhrry!
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Well, They Are Both Rather Combustible
(I have no idea where or what "Arbic" is.)...
Dogshaming -- It's The New Planking!
And much more fun (maybe not for the dogs, though)....
He Is Raisin
Coincidence . . . or prophesy?...
17 Shades of Stupid: Cosmo's Worst BDSM Tips
Nerve: I knew this was coming when the cashier in Barnes and Nobles saw me looking at Fifty Shades of Grey and stage-whispered: "I bought that for my mom, and now I’m just terrified that I’m going to go...
Physician, Heal Thyself
Or at least let us in on what kind of stylin' gel you use to get that bitchin' hairmet....
I Can Haz Vibrator?
Indifferent Cats In Amateur Porn Or as some call it, "Purrrrrn." NSFW, needless to say unless you happen to work for cats, who seem remarkably blasé about the whole business....
American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse
Deadspin: There's a bizarre assumption that if you can make your child's name unique, the child will be unique. And that's NEVER the case. Chances are, if you name your kid Braxlee, he or she is gonna end up bent...
What Are You Trying To Tell Me, Girl? Timmy Fell Down The Well? Again?
You have to be a bit of a bytehead to get the joke -- so maybe if you can find the time, you can explain it to me....
It's His New Handel
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Hoofer Or Heifer?
An (I'm guessing) interpretive dance protesting a) Gravity; b) Dairy marketing boards, or; c) Stephen Harper though not necessarily in that order. I don't know if the intent was comic, but the bug-eyed panic from the woman as she...
Ein Pony, Ein Ride, Ein Führer!
Rejected themes of the Obama 2012 Campaign....
Stupid Pet Tricks
Yawn. Lose the stupid training wheels and get back to me, Norm....
Reasonable Explanations
Ottawa Citizen: New Democratic Party leader Tom Mulcair and his wife have repeatedly refinanced their home west of Montreal, gradually increasing the debt on the property over a series of 11 mortgages, land records show. Mulcair’s office will not explain...
Maybe It's An Extra Safety Feature
One of the problems with electric-powered vehicles is their near-silent operation, which could pose hazards to pedestrians. Various solutions have been proposed, mainly by adding engine or bell sounds. Domino's Pizza in the Netherlands takes it one step farther, with...
Tarmac Mush Oil
Ooh, sounds even worse than Tar Sands, doesn't it? Fear not, it's only my attempt at rebranding Thomas Mulcair by plugging his name into Wordsmith.org's Internet Anagram Server. I found these in the first thousand listed, but I really wasn't...
A Little Kahlua'll Do Ya Hoohah
It felt like someone had thrown a lit match in there. I began hopping around and breathing in the rapid, short puffs I'd learned in birth classes, so long ago, before I realized I didn't need to breathe like that...
My His Review Problem
Matthew Yglesias: As some of you are probably aware, I tweeted something rather rude upon learning the news of Andrew Breitbart's death. Consequently, many of his many fans are unhappy with me. Fair enough. In consequence of that, many of...
Cold, Heartless Person Refuses To Play With Friendly Doggie
It's as if he were made of stone....
Cat Facts
Did you know that cats can be remarkably passive-aggressive?...
Who Amongst Us Has Not Made Precisely The Same Mistake?
Story....
Correction Of The Decade
Amanda Hess: This blog post originally stated that one in three black men who have sex with me is HIV positive. In fact, the statistic applies to black men who have sex with men. Also, the photo caption incorrectly attributed...
When Thirsty Vaginas Attack
Because my title is better. Warning: Language. Unsurprisingly, these old texts can be pretty misogynistic. But The Kama Sutra starts to seem downright feminist when it argues against those who would deny women access to its pages. According to Vatsyayana,...
What Are The Odds
that these two horses would finish first and second? (Track in New Jersey, I think.) Via The Presurfer...
And Then We had Some S'mores And Then We Did Each Others' Hair And Then . . .
They do seem to be having a pretty good time on Lufthansa, in comparison to, say, JetBlue. Via Attuworld...
Hey, Isn't That Christopher Hitchens?
Warning: Marginally NSFW...
Those Ceiling Tiles Are Looking Kind Of Shabby, Too
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How To Wash Your Owl
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The Rave Toilet
Some scientifically-minded types broke apart some 30+ glowsticks and dumped the contents into someone's (probably not theirs) toilet tank. The result? An e'er-shifting kaleidoscope in the bowl, the truly Technicolor toilet. Probably quite hypnotic if you're on ecstasy. Warning: The...
Mercy Kill
Judging by the amount of smoke coming from it, this poor beast was not long for the world; but then the kindly Dr. Brick Kevorkian comes along to give it a gentle push into the beyond. If you watch...
Hole-y Crap
Banterist: Rule One: Exhaust all other possibilities. If you are truly in need and condemned to use the squat toilet, comfort yourself with the knowledge that you are several thousand miles from friends and family. No one has to know....
Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Phallic Symbol
Accidental Penis Warning: Might be NSFW, depending on how much of a dick your boss is....
This Bill Is Gonna Hurt
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Iggy Investigates An iPad
And yet there were some who said he couldn't be trained....
A Rose By Any Other Name
MEMRI: In an unfortunate result of translation, Pakistani diplomat Akbar Zeb will not become the next Pakistani ambassador to Saudi Arabia. Zeb’s credentials seem in order: He is the former ambassador to the United States, India and South Africa. He...
Good Luck With That, Then
There's a famous maxim, "You should try everything once except incest and Morris dancing." But these people seem determined to rehabilitate the hobby: Orange News: A 'sexier' version of the Morris dancing costume has been created to try to encourage...
The Single Second Greatest News Lede Of All Time
The Brevard County doctor who was arrested for groping a woman while dressed as Captain America with a burrito in his pants will not go to jail. You gotta admit, the burrito was an inspired touch. Still, it comes...
Puppy Torture
Warning: Er, sounds. Via The Presurfer...
The Five Worst Army Men Of All Time
SFGate: 5. The mine sweeper. Even as a kid, this army man reminded me of the old guys who used a metal detector to find spare change on the beach at Coyote Point. I realize that bomb detection units are...
Vulgarity Of The Week
There's been a story circulating the last few days about a Chinese man, whose "friends," following a drinking party, somehow managed to insert a live eel into his rectum. Tragically, the eel attempted to chew its way out, causing heavy...
You Are Mysterious. You Are Dangerous. A Mysterious, Dangerous Rebel
You are doing it wrong....
I Predicted This
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Surf's Up!
Full size here....
Oh, For God's Sake, Get A Room
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Thanatos And Eros
Via Holy Taco...
Up On The House Top
Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than...
Cat Develops Motorized Combat Skills
Be afraid. Be very afraid. Warning: Music (and language within song)....
The Catwalk Of Shame
Warning: A shocking lack of professionalism....
That'll Teach 'Em
Metro.co.uk: A Ugandan government official has said that the bodies of people who die from drinking an illicit local gin should be caned six times before burial as an example to the living. District commissioner Edwin Komakech advocated the corpse-punishing...
Don't Judge My Hair
And it's a good thing we don't, because several of these are deserving of the death penalty. Via The Presurfer...
Hu Laves Ya, Baby
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Privileged Little Artiste Writing Something Oh-So-Precious Into His Moleskine Notebook
After gently unfastening the elastic strap keeping his dearest musings safe from prying eyes, little literary artiste Evan Stansky penned a few more darling thoughts into his clothbound Moleskine notebook Wednesday. More....
Pelosi on Elm Street: The Nightmare Continues
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The Demon In The Tree
Among other unfortunate family photos....
The Linzertorte Will Knock You Out
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Cat Yoga?
Instructions on catsitting by a(n apparently-insane) woman named Kelly. Full text here. You wouldn't expect the crowd at Digg to be a bunch of cat-lovers and you would be correct in that guess. But that didn't stop them from...
That's Not Funny!
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Watch Out For The Pervert In Blue
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Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians
Now featuring Canadian content!...
There'll Always Be An England
It also revealed 28 per cent had choked on crumbs while one in 10 had broken a tooth or filling biting a biscuit. More unusually, three per cent had poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit and seven...
Intimations Of Marzipan
Cake Wrecks: "Now look, I need you to go back to the bakery - are you listening to me? - I need you to go back to the bakery, and get another cake. And remember: We are preparing for a...
I'm Sure It Makes Sense On Some Level
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Journey To The Dog Star
Sirius-ly?...
"Does Your Husband Get That Much Face-Time?"
One of those SPCA adopt-a-dog seqments goes tragically out of control on a Surrey (B.C.) newscast. Via The Presurfer...
Kitties From Hell
See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor. Your standard cats-on-a-loop confection. Then things get weird. Warning: Music and the possible meows of Satan hisself....
Just In Time For The Weekend
The Shatnotron. Warning: Music and sfx. Possibly NSFW....
You Should Have Gone Before We Left Home
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Byte Me
The programming site Stack Overflow recently ran a contest to find the funniest source code. Leaving aside my forays into C++, computer programming would seem to have limited comedic potential; however, the ability to include comments and use descriptive...
Head Of The Table
I have no idea what the story is on this. Full size at Awkward Family Photos....
A Mother's Love
This clip predates the (commercial) Internet by some years: I saw it on TV in the late 80s. I've been looking for it off and on, searching YouTube occasionally to see if someone's uploaded it. An Internet-wide search finally found...
Whack-A-Kitty
Warning: Music, sfx, excessive cuteness....
Bees In The News
The Onion: Users of the front door at 1418 Sycamore Avenue report the appearance of a common bumblebee ricocheting back and forth between the front and screen doors in a manner described as "pissed." According to witnesses, no one has...
Feel The Burninator
A common argument against getting a tattoo is that what looks good on taut 20-year-old flesh looks, uh, not-so-good by the time Grandpa qualifies for his Old Age supplement. In this case, though, the descending rolls of flab will provide...
The Fatal Consequences Of Masturbation
Er, cancel the Fleshlight order. I just happened across this book that shows the horrific fate that awaits practitioners of the loathsome vice. A close call indeed!...
Trending Up In A Bare Market
Google Trends: If you don't know what a Fleshlight is, consider yourself fortunate. Warning: Link NSFW....
See What Kate Hath Wrought
Via Electronically Brighter...
Again With The Asian Boobage
Don't Ram the Boobs - Watch more Funny Videos...
Torte Tort
I ran across this photo a few days ago and knew it could have come from only one place. I was right: I love that someone - either the customer or the decorator - felt that "sexual harassment" needed...
911 Emergency
Operator: 911 emergencies. Boy: Yeah I need some help. Operator: What's the matter?...
Lucky, Thy Name is The Bitterest Irony
I couldn't embed this -- the embed button seems to be broken -- so you'll have to go here to pay your respects. It's a well-known website and everything was SFW the last time I looked. Warning: Excessive "awww" factor....
Crappy Balloon Animals
Via Blogadilla...
The Year Of Living Dangerously
Many happy returns, Ma!...
Strong Like Tractor, Graceful Like Bull
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Well, We Do!
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Why Don't We Do It In The Road
A time-lapse film shot at the iconic crosswalk outside the Abbey Road studios at what seems like the height of tourist season. It's especially troubling to watch them stretcher off the surviving pedestrians, four at a time. Also the guy...
Joek
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the T-shirt she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, 'You've got to make...
Songsmith
The latest craze is using Microsoft's Songsmith (download a trial version here) to remix famous songs. Basically you sing into it and the software builds the chord progressions to match the melody and the rhythm to fit the style (rock,...
Get It On!
Given that this is a commercial for Durex condoms, be advised that it may be NSFW. You might want to turn down the sound, too. Be further warned that it's as funny as hell. Short "outtakes" here....
Brutal Hockey Fight
A good thing the linesmen broke this up when they did, because I think that that goon Alexander Semin was planning a devastating "pinkbelly" attack that could have effectively ended both players' careers....
Just A Trim Around The Edges
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Dances With Robots
Missing is the hilarious (albeit somewhat bloody) finale, when the robot attempts to install him as a hood ornament on an '09 Cadillac. Warning: Laughter, sound effects....
Kermit Says "Jump!"
I have absolutely no idea what this picture is about, and the accompanying text isn't much help, being that it's in Farsi, which, believe it or not, I don't fully understand. But be it noted that that doesn't stop...
Overloaded
I gotta say, I sympathize with the donkey these days. More Third World adventures in transportation here. (Site loads a popup ad, which you can skip through by clicking a button at the upper right.)...
Smelling Salts
A revolutionary new therapy has this wounded warrior practically crawling off the stretcher to get back into the fray....
A Manly Beverage
to fill my manly mug, Ma'am. (Large print on cup says, "Happy Wildness Men." Indeed.) Via Engrish.com...
The Silly Hats Of England
Even before I clicked the link I knew where these pictures came from: The Style on The Downs competition at the Epsom Derby. First prize was a new Jeep; I'm guessing that these weren't among the finalists....
Master . . .
. . . tackle? Nope. Mastertacklers? Nope. Truly, the pun is the lowest form of humor. 'Cause I'm just not getting it....
Where The Little Children Gather
there you will find Miracle, The Sewer Horse ™, keeping watch from above. Er, below....
This Is Not Gonna End Well
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It's A Guy Thing
Dark Roasted Blend: There are over 7 million patents registered in the United States, a great number of which describe practical inventions designed for use by everyday, ordinary human beings. Then there's the "guy" stuff, ideas so lunkheaded and irrational...
Arms Are For Mauling
This is the final picture in the series, taken shortly before the dog ate the baby. OK, just kidding about that part. But I'm sure the thought crossed his mind....
There Is A Certain . . .
How do you say it . . . tension between the anchorman (a dead ringer for The Simpsons' Kent Brockman) and the reporter in this clip from a New York FOX affiliate. It is subtle, but alert viewers may be...
Weird Science
Photographs allegedly from school science projects. I say "allegedly" because some of them are so dumb (the project at left is titled "Crystal Meth -- Friend or Foe?") that I have difficulty believing that any teacher or advisor would give...
Riddle Me This
Ananova: An eight-year-old boy had to be freed by firefighters after getting stuck in a pair of handcuffs he found in his mum's bedroom. Firefighters took the schoolboy to Copnor Fire Station in Portsmouth, Hampshire, to be freed with industrial...
Call An Ambulance Please
I thought that it had gone defunct, but there seem to be new clips from the Zuiiken English show popping up. If you haven't seen it, it's a very strange (is there any other kind?) Japanese exercise/language-training program. In this...
Born To Be Wild
sheboyganpress.com: The case against a Sheboygan man accused of abducting a 17-year-old Oshkosh girl was dismissed this week after the teen admitted she lied about her two-week disappearance. Angelina Lor initially claimed that You'll have to read the rest of...
Better Bring Your Crampons *
England's loss to Croatia in the Euro 2008 qualifying rounds got off to an amusing start, at least. Ananova: Tony Henry was trying to sing the national anthem in Croatian, but reportedly got the words wrong. Fans say the mispronounciation...
Sexual Geography
The Geography of a Woman: Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia: Half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas. Between the ages of 21 - 30 a...
Speling Misteak?
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Terrible Techie Tales
I hate running across these things, because I find them hilarious. I'll vow to only read one or two, and then it's back to more productive work. Fat chance: I asked him if it had been exposed to water, and...
Pooch In A Pouch
I saw this at Gizmodo and couldn't stop laughing. Words otherwise fail me, so I'll just point you to the original article and its commenters. Warning: Some crude language; also, one of the banner ads recently generated controversy when it...
Nietzsche Family Circus
This is probably one of those ideas that was funnier in the conception than in the flesh; it's still worth a few giggles anyway. It takes a random quote from Friedrich Nietzche and marries it with a random Family Circus...
I Am Sure
that there's a perfectly innocent and reasonable explanation for this: What it might be entirely escapes me, though. Other puzzling moments in comic book art here....
Out Of The Mouths Of Babes
Humor by Simon Rich in The New Yorker, about how children perceive the adult world: Mr. President! Did you hear about Woodstock? Woo -- Woodstock? What in God’s name is that? Apparently, young people hate the war so much they’re...
Swedish Homo
Hey, don't take my word for it. Via grow-a-brain...
Crude (And We Do Mean Crude) Sex Pictures
The crowd at Something Awful uncork their mad MS Paint skillz on the Kama Sutra (or some approximation thereof). Warning: Mostly tame (and some are nearly-impossible to decipher), but NSFW. Also, if you find yourself being, um, aroused by any...
Psst, iRan? Have I Got A Deal For You
I recently got an iPod, which meant that I had to iInstall iTunes so that I could load my iMusic (iPromise, I'll iStop doing this iSoon) onto it, or at least that subset of same which iTunes deems acceptable. Apart...
The Button-Down Mind Of Brit Hume *
One of the few TV shows that I make an effort to catch is FOX News Sunday. If I'm busy I'll record it and watch it later. The interviews are first-rate but what really makes it great is its roundtable...
Every Picture Tells A Story
A guide to interpreting photos on social-networking site Friendster. I would think that it's also applicable to MySpace, Facebook, etc. Some truths are universal....
Journalism 101
Usually the trickiest part of writing a good news story is its opening sentence, which should contain as much information as possible while engaging the reader's attention: The most important structural element of a story is the lede -- namely...
Foxes In Boxes
I happened across a fashion-show photo the other day but it was too small and poorly-lit, so I went looking for a better copy. It was from the Fall/Winter show at London Fashion Week, the work of a hot young...
Joek
Via normblog: Woman in a supermarket searches out the manager. Woman: I can't find the broccoli. Manager: Madam, I'm afraid we don't have any broccoli. W: Do you have any dried broccoli? M: No, sorry, no dried broccoli either. W:...
And The Winner . . .
of the February 11 Climate Change Celebrity Smackdown Prize is Tom Brodbeck of the Winnipeg Sun: [emphasis mine] I’m not a scientist. I have no idea if humans are responsible for some, most or all of global warming -- or...
The Ol' Huck 'N' Buck
That's what it's called -- the football card pictures of a ballcarrier with one leg in the air, straight-arming an imaginary would-be tackler. At least that's what it's called on this site. I can't find any other reference to it...
I'm Gonna Pee (900 Miles)
I would drive 900 miles And I would drive 900 more Just to be the chick who drove 900 miles To be charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery I'm sure you've all heard...
Why It Pays To Keep A German In Your Basement
Just in case your house is attacked by those annoying Turks: In 1476, after defeating the Moldavian armies in the Battle of Valea Albă, the Ottoman Empire Sultan Mehmet II forced the Moldavian voivode Ştefan cel Mare to retreat to...
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