the blog quebecois

If this doesn't fill you with Christmas cheer, you haven't had enough beer yet.

Warning: Music.

Via Vodkapundit

Assuming I survive the celebrations -- not at all a sure thing -- I should be back on Monday. In the meanwhile, I'd like to thank all of you who drop by here (except for the spammers), and I wish you all (even the spammers) a Merry Christmas.

Or as they say in Pittsburgh, have a Happy Sparkle Season.

From eBay:

This story is completely true and no names have been changed to protect the guilty! This year for Christmas my boyfriend of two years promised me an iPod but instead presented me with

Warning: Might not be SFW

Happy Whatever Day. I really mean that.

Here's the synopsis for a cheery little film called Gallows Hollow:

50 years ago it was rumored that Robert Gallow murdered his young wife, Mary. The following year he was found gutted and hanging in the trees... they left behind a baby girl. This morning the bodies of seven campers were found. They were gutted and hanging in the trees.

It looks quite well done, but I didn't see all of it. It clocks in at some 19 minutes, and as I have the attention-span of a gnat, I started looking at other things, switching back to the window when I heard something interesting, like bloodcurdling screams.

In the meantime I found this video from a band named Turbonegro. (Hey, I don't make up the names. I just report them.) It wasn't the greatest song in the world, but the theme seemed right for a Halloween post.

At that point, something weird happened. The video for the song was playing merrily along when the movie reappeared . . . in the very same window. This went on for a couple of minutes. Then my browser crashed.

I doubt that it was caused by anything Satanic, such as Microsoft. More likely some random supernatural force of evil.

(The jack o'lantern pictured above is one of many distinctive carvings at this site, any of which can be sent as e-cards.)

I have a virtual warehouse of Christmas links, all of which will be worthless a week from now. (Some would say that they're worthless today. Grinches.) So be prepared for a deluge of Xmas entertainment! *

First up is Eyezmaze's (designer of the Grow Cube, and other puzzles) Grow Ornament, in which you decorate a Christmas tree, as depicted at left. To be truthful, I don't know if I solved the puzzle or not, but there's only 6 items to place on the tree, so diligence should be soon rewarded.

Enough of that. Time to shoot elves! And possibly win a Sony PSP! (Note: it's a big file and slow to load. But do you want quality Doom-style elf massacres or not?)

Here's my favorite activity of the season -- playing drunk Santa. (Warning: Santa makes some, uh, interesting sounds.)

* Just so long as I don't have to link more than three things at once. That would interfere with my drunk Santa time.

This lighting display, synchronized to music, has been making the rounds. Some people questioned its veracity; but as Snopes.com documents, it's for real:

This display was the work of Carson Williams, a Mason, Ohio, electrical engineer who spent about three hours sequencing the 88 Light-O-Rama channels that controlled the 16,000 Christmas lights in his annual holiday lighting spectacular (from Christmas 2004). His 2005 display includes over 25,000 lights that he spent nearly two months and $10,000 to hook up. So that the Williams' neighbors aren't disturbed by constant noise, viewers driving by the house are informed by signs to tune in to a signal broadcast over a low-power FM radio station to hear the musical accompaniment.

He explains how he did it (using free and demo software) here.

Here's the same house, set up for different music.

And here's another one that I think is the best of the bunch. No information on where it is, or who built it.

We must remember the primary reason for Christmas -- to get me a new Xbox 360.

However we also should take some time to commemorate the birth of a certain Jew some millenia previous. As an aide-memoire you can download, print out, and assemble these Christmas creches. The one pictured is from a 1940's American design; there are others from Greek, German, and other traditions. Most of them are simple enough for children to cut out and put together.

You'll need a free Adobe Acrobat reader; a color printer and some heavier-grade construction paper. Also you'll need to register at the site.

We sate among the stalls at Bethlehem;
The dumb kine from their fodder turning them,
Softened their horn'd faces,
To almost human gazes
Toward the newly Born:
The simple shepherds from the star-lit brooks
Brought visionary looks,
As yet in their astonished hearing rung
The strange sweet angel-tongue:
The magi of the East, in sandals worn,
Knelt reverent, sweeping round,
With long pale beards, their gifts upon the ground,
The incense, myrrh, and gold
These baby hands were impotent to hold:
So let all earthlies and celestials wait
Upon thy royal state.
Sleep, sleep, my kingly One!

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Merry Christmas to all; I'm not sure how much time I'll have next week to post, so a Happy New Year to everyone if I'm not back before then.

I'm never going to cushion-dive for loose change again:

Perfectly camouflaged and lightning fast, Ghastly Ghoul Blasts thru the bottom of chair to stand 6’3” tall. They’ll never see it coming and this ones guaranteed to drop them. Includes, chair, ghoul, mech & pneumatic pkg.

Probably a bit late to pick it up for your Halloween party; at $2700 (and this is one of the cheaper effects -- others are over 10K with accessories) it's more intended for the commercial market, anyway.

More expensive creepiness here.

*

Time for the obligatory Halloween post. Picture courtesy of Ray Villafane, whose elaborate pumpkin (among other things) carvings are here. Inspired to try your own hand? Go here. (Warning: Sound effects when you advance to the "done" screen.

Or for your reading pleasure: The 23 Best Horror Games. Note: These aren't playable Flash or Java games; rather, reviews of commercial game releases for the computer or console market.

Even by the low standards of do-it-yourself Santas, this is pathetic. He looks like something bolted together from scraps they found in the Wal-Mart dumpster; tragically, though, the electric shocks failed to bring it to life.

More of the cheery Yuletide blaze here.

to all of you and I hope the season brings you joy. I'm going to be doing a lot of running around in the next few days, so I probably won't be posting again until the New Year

Wonderful Christmassy picture courtesy of b3ta. That'll cure the damned chimney-spelunker.

Or as they say in Pittsburgh, Happy Sparkle Season!

I've been running around and I'm travelling tomorrow, so I thought I'd just pop in to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and I'll see you again in the New Year.

And if you're in need of a last-minute stocking stuffer, I'm pleased to inform you that Amazon has finally got this back in stock. You might think it's a joke, but scroll down to read the rapturous reviews, of which this is typical:

After hearing the music of Nickelback and being highly disappointed, I began a quest to find something better. This item fits the bill perfectly.

I'll be heading out of town for the festivities, so let me wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, in which I hope to make my return, regardless of how you feel about it.