the blog quebecois

I still say you get more pumpkins with honey than with magical shooting stars.

A shotgun is better than both, but it doesn't seem to be an option.

When the estimable Ghost of a Flea rates something as an "extreme time-waster", consider yourself warned.

Sure, the language is Italian, but the urge to throw wadded-up pieces of paper at your co-workers is common to all cultures. (Click on "Gioca" in the upper-left corner to play.)

Maybe I don't get out enough, but I've noticed a new -- new to me, at any rate -- trend of companies advertising with Flash and other online games.

The corporate tie-in with video games is of course nothing new; from games piggybacking on popular movies (Lord of the Rings, Spiderman) or product placement or signage in sports and racing games (Electronic Arts refuses to say how much money it makes this way, take that as you will).

It works the other way too, with gaming companies paying licence fees for trademarked names and endorsement.

Now these. I think it could prove quite effective for both parties: low cost advertising and increasingly-professional games.

So, from the soon-to-be-released movie Dawn of the Dead, a zombie shooter.

And a Pacman-style game where the power dots are Lipton's Cup of Soup.

This is a natural. Set some comical sheep flying and tumbling and the obvious question is: How can I shoot at them?

Busy busy busy. Here's a couple of links for ya.

Just think of the wonderful flexibility you'd have if you didn't have flesh.

I used to have one of these, but I stepped on it one night, and it was no more.

The object of this game is to drive the little van off the road, whereupon it explodes. At least I hope that that's the object, because I'm getting pretty good at it.

sharp darts spitting masters
spitting darts faster
shut up I'm the driver, you're the passenger

-- the streets

What better way to spend a lazy Saturday afternoon than wandering down to the local pub to play darts?

Of course, you'll want to quaff a few beers while doing that.

But beware, Dartman! Too much beer can lead to, er, erratic micturition.

i’ll buy you tall, tall trees
on all the waters and the seas
i’m a fool, fool, fool for you

-- alan jackson

Peggy Noonan on John Kerry:

It's OK that he looks like a sad tree, but you can't look like a sad, hollow tree. And it looks a little hollow in there.

He looks even sadder when getting beaten up by George Bush. (Bush looks more like Paul Wolfowitz -- but I quibble.)

I really haven't had time to write anything the last couple of days, so the least I can offer is a couple of games -- duck shooting, which everyone understands; and cricket, which nobody understands (well, not me, anyway).

What's my secret for finding obscure games that nobody wants to play? I don't know. It's a gift. It's as if God pointed His finger at me and said:

"Let there be lawn bowling."

You wanted it. You demanded it. And now you've got it:

Cat bowling.

This is kind of cute. Actually, a bit too cute. But the music is good. Even if it drives you stark raving bonkers after five minutes.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

So this is the idea. Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel (or possibly Beavis and Butthead) are playing a tennis match. In the finals of the U.S. Open, no less. And you're the umpire.

I know what you're thinking: Bring. It. On.

(Worksafe except for music and sfx.)

Via anil's daily links

This has got me stumped. It looks simple -- steer the car through the maze -- but if there's a way to do it, it's beyond my powers of deduction.

Click on the green triangle to start. When the car comes to an intersection, some of the triangles will light up, indicating the directions you can go.

None of which will take you any closer to your goal. Not worksafe, because you'll be screaming with frustration after 10 minutes.

oh, i blessed him as he bled
oh at last, the king is dead
god save the queen

-- phil ochs

For a bunch of socialist weenies, the BBC puts out some interesting and informative historical games. (A whole lotta them here.) This is a murder mystery set in 80 A.D. Rome. I didn't have time to more than glance at it, but you might find it worthy of perusal.

Or if you're after more cerebral fare, you can play paper dolls with Anna Kournikova.

I have a certain genius for dressing the female form, yes?

Warning: Music on the Kournikova link (which isn't a direct link -- click on Play This Game on the right side of the screen). Anna is fully clothed. At least to start with.

A potentially addictive little game. There's music, but it's quiet and unobtrusive.

Via waxy.org

I'm not really sure what this site's about, but it's got 3D car racing in a topsy-turvy world of kaleidoscopic horses and spinning turtles. What more do you need?

Warning: Music.

I think we can all agree that the prospects of the European Union are dim indeed, if this is any indication.

This is an odd but addictive shooting game. It's in Japanese, but easy enough to figure out: Click on either of the buttons on the title page, then point and click to shoot. Spacebar to reload.

Did I mention that it's Japanese? Ah so, so it's impossible to figure out.

Shoot the tumbling beer (?) bottles. Shoot the tumbling clock to stop the countdown clock for a few seconds. You can shoot the owl perched on the sign, but it doesn't seem to do anything except make the owl look sad.

Don't shoot the tumbling fish, as that will cause a giant demonic kitty to materialize, obscuring your view.

Did I mention that it's Japanese?

My 6-year-old niece is spending the next couple of days here, which means a lot of Frogger and Kim Possible and The Sims for her, and a dearth of new, exciting posts for you.

In the limited time I could lure her away from the computer ("Claire! Isn't that the . . . ice cream truck??!?"), I managed to rediscover this. It's a slightly reworked version of a sniper game I saw a month or so ago. Pick off the little men before they start shooting back at you.

Or if you'd prefer to shoot at little penguins (with llama spit, I think), you can try this. It's the latest from Yeti Sports.

Be apprised of the typical game noises if at work.

I'm increasingly impressed with the quality of free online games. This one being an example in point. It's a promotional thing for Etnies Surf, a skateboard/surf/BMX/Xgames retailer (mainly clothing and footwear) and it's quite simple in construction. There's only one level that I can see and it's pretty linear -- only one or two ways through it, and the targets are in the same place every time -- but it's in a convincingly 3-D setting and the graphics are, if not up to Tony Hawk standards, then at least detailed enough to make you say, "Hmmm."

The drawback today is still the bandwidth. I've got a fairly good DSL connection, but it still stutters occasionally on this and other byte-rich content. I think that in a couple of years we'll be routinely streaming Xbox and Playstation-quality material. O frabjous day!

Warning: Music, standard skateboarding sounds, pool of blood when he hits the curb or mistimes the cars zooming through at intersections.

Use your arrow keys to steer; spacebar to jump. I think if you do it really really well you might win a pair of shoes or something, but don't quote me on that.

It is true, what they say: French is the language of clever little remakes of mini-putt games. Click on "Jouer!" on the left hand side and beware the cat. He doesn't steal the ball, just emits annoying meows on a regular basis.

I like Ferry Halim's whimsical games on the Orisinal site, but sometimes they get a bit too whimsical, know what I'm sayin'? Take this for example. Four cute little doggies in a race of some kind. You can click your mouse to help them along. Or something. I played it three times and got zero points each time.

There must be some point to it, but damned if I can figure out what it is. Warning: Music.

Update: Duh, try waiting for the instructions for a change. The dogs aren't in competition with each other: you try and space them to jump cleanly across as many balls as possible.

I screwed up my browser unplugging a plug-in that I shouldn't have plugged-in in the first place, so it looks like I'll be spending most of the night fixing it or installing a new one. Your journey here is not all in vain, though. Here are 45 games (simple logic puzzles for the most part) to keep you amused.

A promising new feature from our test labs -- the Game Of The Week!

In my journeys around the Interwebthingy, I frequently come across small games that for one reason or another, I find interesting.

And so this would be the best of the best?

Er, not exactly. If I found something truly outstanding, I'd probably post it that same day. As for these, I think they're worthy of notice and maybe you'll agree.

If you've got a favorite that you'd like other people to know about, please email me (gnotalex -at- gmail -dot- com) or leave a comment.

Our inaugural kicks off with Splashback. You try to clear the board by creating chain reactions. I found it difficult to get beyond the third level.

Via Ursi's BLOG

You've seen those clips on TV where people have set up hundreds of thousands of dominoes and then send them toppling in a spectacular display? I've always thought that something like that would make a good computer game. You could incorporate effects and Rube Goldberg devices that wouldn't be possible in the real world, with the aim of solving puzzles, or "combat" against another player (trying to disrupt his arrangements while blocking him from doing the same to you), or just building big, artistic patterns. Sure, it's kind of pointless, but so's Tetris when you think about it.

Maybe somebody's already done it -- if not, some game developer can run with the idea. No charge. In the meantime, I'll have to make do with this.

Note: it might just be my computer, but the game takes awhile to load, just presenting a blank screen for 30-40 seconds. It's on a Japanese page, but the controls are displayed in English. And if you're at work, you might want to turn down your speakers, because it sho' don't sound like no spreadsheet.

Note the name of the post. Game of the Week. Not Exciting Game of the Week, or Fun Game of the Week, or Addictive Game of the Week. Game of the Week. I'm just telling you this so that you're not getting your hopes up. Sure, I could have called it Boring Game of the Week, or Lame Game of the Week, or Really Really Stupid Game of the Week, but then you probably wouldn't have read this far. Now that you have, what's a little bit more of your time to investigate this, the . . . Game of the Week.

If you can beat my time of 2:37, you will, uh, have beaten my time of 2:37. (That clock runs way too fast -- probably to try to trick you into thinking that you've spent many engrossing minutes playing . . . the Game of the Week.)

I came across this game a couple of weeks ago. It's a well done Sims-style simulation of a McDonald's franchise. I figured the lawyers would be all over it in a few days, because it isn't sponsored by McDonald's and uses its familiar Golden Arches trademark. Checking out the link earlier today, I thought I'd been proven right, as the page had disappeared.

It turns out, though, that they were just having server trouble. They've set up a temporary page for it here. If or when that closes down, the original link is here.

Update: I've only played it for a few minutes and I first assumed that the game was benign and neutral; browsing the site, I came across statements like:

For decades McDonald�s corporation has been heavily criticized for his negative impact on society and envinronment.There are inevitably some glitches in our activity: rainforest destruction, livelhood losses in the third world, desertification, precarization of working conditions, food poisoning and so on� [The designer is Italian, so his English skills are a bit off.]

And links to reviews like this:

The game requires the player to learn and master all the complex techniques of a big international corporation like McDo. You'll bribe South American officials for the rights to clear rainforests for cattle and soy; you'll plump up cattle with additives; you'll coerce and influence government and scientific interests back home; and you'll manipulate your employees to achieve the highest profits.

So who knows what kind of horrors lurk within the game? Maybe McDonald's lawyers will find more things of interest than a simple trademark violation.

An addictive little game I ran across awhile ago. You can easily chew up an hour or two playing it. Click on the bricks to move them. When you get four or more of a color touching, they vanish into the Great Colored Brickyard in the Sky. You get points for that, so don't be sad.

You can eliminate entire rows by moving the bundles of dynamite to them. Use them to blast the longest rows and especially the ones with "stone" bricks in them. Typical game noises, so you might want to turn down your speakers if you're goofing off at work.

Now you don't even have to leave this fine blog for a minute to get your daily fix of hot gaming action!

This, as I see it, maximizes the chance that, blundering around this fine blog in search of more hot gaming action, someone will accidentally click on one of the damn Google ads, thus fattening my bank account by an average of $0.12.4781¢.

That is the theory, at any rate; and if Google asks, you didn't get the idea from me.

Click on Play and use your cursor keys to steer your little cube thing to freedom, or at least the next level. Warning: A few distinctly unbusinesslike sounds.

Or is that title redundant?

We begin our tour with "Katako," which refers to the ancient Shinto tradition of knocking out heel wedges of a woman's shoe. Time it incorrectly and the woman will become "otoshi," or "horizontal," which is normally a promising development, if not for the fact that the woman would likely get up and beat you to death with what's left of her shoe.

OK, I made that part up. Be advised that there's (quite jazzy) music and sfx and no way to turn it off, so turn down your speakers if you must.

This one is is even more inscrutable. You are the pink, friendly bear. Collect the children by moving near them (using your mouse). The brown bear will cause the children to run off in fright.

Silly children! The dangerous bear is you! When you have five or more of them clinging to you, click anywhere on the game screen. The pink bear will discard his mask, revealing . . . an evil robot! The children will run off in fright! But you collect points! And then you put on your pink bear-mask and go hunting for more!

Music, etc.

Hey, that's the name, and I'm sticking to it.

It's a point-and-click murder mystery
and it seems quite well done. I can't report on it more deeply than that, because I was unable to make it out of the first room.

Warning: Music and dialogue on the load and intro screens.

Big hockey game tonight, and I've barely got the time to post this -- but post I shall!

Jungle Adventure

Yer generic horizontal-scrolling game. An advertisement, I think, for some kind of waffle snack. What this has to do with "Jungle Adventure" is anybody's guess.

There's music and an intro, which you can turn off; some sound effects, which you can't.

I thought I should commemorate the start of the World Cup by looking for some soccer (or football, if you must) games.

Turns out there aren't a lot of them -- most are either shootout simulations or using headers or kicks to keep the ball in the air.

I suppose Flash or Java programming for a website has some speed limitations, because the great majority of "realistic" games have only 3-6 players per side, often nothing more than colored dots.

However, I persevered, and eventually found this. It's got complete teams, instant replays, joystick control (if you have one), and a full World Cup schedule.

Of course, I won't be playing it. If I get the urge, I'll pop my FIFA Soccer '04 (I really should update it one of these days) in the Xbox. So, nyah.

Or maybe I'll start practicing this.

Warning: All links have music and sounds.

It's the seventh game of the Stanley Cup, and I don't have a lot of time for this blogging stuff. So go fly a kite. Warning: Music, but of the mild, kite-flying variety.

The goal is to swat the cockroaches before they crawl all over the sleeping guy and cause him stress, waking him up. I would think that having someone swat cockroaches while I was trying to sleep would be stressful all by itself. It certainly would be an incentive to find another place to sleep. Warning: Sounds.

They're not kidding. I wasn't able to make it past the seventh level -- the top score is an unbelievable 773.

You get 20 seconds to knock down an arrangement of dominoes, squashing a tomato (I think) in the bargain. If you clear all the dominoes, you get a time bonus. For each one still standing, you lose a second on your next attempt. You can elect to pass on any of three stages.

To restart the game, click on "Quit" in the upper right of the Game Over or high score screen. Warning: Music and sounds.

As you might gather from the name, this is a 3D version of Tetris. It's actually a port of an old DOS game called Blockout, which I played a lot, more years ago than I care to remember.

It looks quite difficult, but it's brilliantly designed and very intuitive. I actually found it easier to play than the original Tetris. There are some unobtrusive sound effects.

Or if you'd rather have a copy of Blockout itself, you can get it here. It's a ZIP file, so you'll need a program like WinZip or 7-Zip to unpack it. It runs fine on a modern machine in either a DOSbox or from Windows. The sounds don't play though, at least in Windows XP.

If you're looking for some other older games, the above Home of the Underdogs is the premiere "abandonware" site. It collects games from publishers no longer in business, or who've given their OK to distribute a particular game.

If you're anything like me, the sport of show jumping leaves you cold; of interest, primarily, when the horse stops short and the rider goes flying off his mount.

Nevertheless, this simulation is nicely done and worth a look. There's music (appropriately, classical) and sound effects, most notably the clop clop clop of hooves.

Via Ursi's Blog

If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times: "gnotalex, when will we have more sheep-based entertainment on this fine blog?" And as always, my reply is, "If you don't like the amount of sheep-based entertainment on this fine blog, maybe you'd be happier going to other blogs." And then they say, "Well, just maybe I'll do that," and then I say, "See ya 'round, loser," and then they say, "That's it! I'm really going now," and then BOOM! I slam some quality sheep-based entertainment down.

I'm not proud of it, but I play you people like a violin.

Warning: Whether you're at work or not, you'll want to turn the music off (leftmost top button). Also, you should read the Help file, as some things about the game aren't immediately obvious.

A nice little game that combines Pacman ghosts with a Qix-like interface. You capture parts of the screen by surrounding them; 80% of the territory takes you to the next level. There are typical video game noises, but nothing too alarming.

As you know, I have a strict policy against promoting commercial properties on this fine blog, unless they pay me. However, I have temporarily relaxed this rule so that you might partake of this wildly entertaining * promo game (Warning: Some quiet music and sound effects) for the movie Superman Returns, which opens opened about three months ago.

I guess I'm going to have to start getting up earlier in the mornings if I want to cash in on that crazy blog payola I've been hearing so much about.

* Sort of.

Via Ursi's Blog

It's old-school retro games week on the blog québécois! Behold, a full screen Space Invaders!

You've played it before? That's why it's old-school retro, fool!

Warning: Old-school retro sound effects! And there's no way to turn them off!

Due to popular demand (witness the comments flooding in to my Space Invaders post from yesterday) the old-school retro games extravaganza continues with Frogger (or some variant thereof).

You can mute the sound with your "M" key.

Interesting and simple
in concept. You click on the ball, then on the black flippers to steer it through the red dots, then to the exit point.

Warning: Typical game sounds; it also opens for some obscure reason with a song by Coldplay. So turn your speakers down or up if that's a combination you can't live with or without.

Via Ursi's Blog

You are the owner of a strange world with three houses on it. Protect them from meteor strikes by rotating away when one approaches. You can also purchase some other defensive counter-measures.

Warning: There's music and sound effects, but you can turn them off via the "Settings" option at the main menu.

An entertaining little game. Click on the arrows to steer the ants to their correct targets. (Leaves, bugs and grubs must be delivered to separate tree trunks.) Things get hectic soon enough.

Warning: Music and sound effects.

Because I know you can't get enough of the Halloween links, and also because I couldn't find anything else today, I present K-Mart's Haunted House. The idea being that by providing your email address, K-Mart can bombard you 'til the end of time with spam. Well, the joke's on them. You only have to give your address if you want to save your place in the game. Which you may or may not want to do.

I haven't played enough of the game to determine if it's worth getting K-Mart spam for, but it seems well enough done and suitable for kids. There's music and some sound effects, but you can kill it with the speaker button at the lower right of the screen.

Kill! Kill! Kill!

But gently, with paintballs.

There don't seem to be any limits on ammo, and you automatically reload, so go crazy.

There's music and sound effects, but the only hazard is collecting virtual welts.

If you want to see people collecting real welts, how about some naked paintball?

Warning: Language, and, er, nudity. I leave it to you to guess the sex of the pantsless participants. You really don't think that women would be this dumb, do you?

I've done it. I've finally found a game as banal as the potato-peeling game (which is hosted for some inexplicable reason at the Gorillaz animated hiphop group website).

Without further ado, Match The Socks.

Don't worry, there isn't anything hiding behind them. It's a strange site, some kind of an art project, I think. Click on the squiggle at the bottom of the page to see more of it. All SFW, as far as I've looked, but there are sound effects on some pages.

Dreams of travelling through tunnels have deep significance in Freudian psychoanalysis. When they appear in game motifs, though, they mean nothing. Nutting, I tell you.

Apart from the realization that, if you were flying a missile, you wouldn't necessarily want to fly it into a long tube, steering through rotating locks. You'd think that that'd be obvious, but I thought I'd mention it, anyway.

The little thing in a pool of blood is called a "Puki." They are so cute waddling towards you with the aim of ripping your face off. There's some kind of a backstory about them, but I frankly don't believe a word of it.

All I know is that you should kill them before they kill you.

Warning: Some sound effects in both.

Yes, it's that time of the year again, when we give thanks for all our blessings.

No, wait. It's the Americans who do that. Well, I hope you're happy, you arrogant turkey-murderers.

Me, I celebrate more prosaic matters, such as:

[World Toilet Organization founder Jack] Sim said World Toilet Day could be celebrated in various ways.

"Some do it by cleaning together," he said from Bangkok, where he was touring a school toilet as part of the World Toilet Expo. The WTO [you would think that the World Trade Organization might have a problem with the acronym] was a key organizer of the event, at which hundreds of delegates discussed how to help the more than 2.6 billion people, including 1.9 billion in Asia, without access to proper sanitation.

A worthy goal. To get you in the mood, here's a (well done, considering) game where the object is to manage a public washroom. You are the intrepid attendant, doing battle against dirt and various fecal coliforms (the brown things) while buying new toilets, urinals, and sinks for your clients (the blue things), who tend to befoul the floor otherwise.

I think I got this from Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities, but I'm not sure. I've had the link for awhile, and this is the first chance I've been able to use it. For that, I too am grateful.

Warning: More-or-less SFW. There's music, which you can mute with a button at the upper right of the screen. It also, at least on my machine, takes a long time to load.

Ugh. What a day. The power was out most of the afternoon, which kind of puts a crimp in one's computer activities. Then the power came back on and the smoke alarm shortly went off in celebration. This is one of the type that runs on the house current and I assumed that it was on a separate circuit. If a fire destroys the breaker panel, you don't want to lose the alarm protection with it. An ear-splitting search for a breaker or fuse for it turned up nothing, though, so it was back to the main panel flicking (the unmarked) switches until I found the one that controlled it.

Then, of course, I had to go and reset all the clocks, etc., that I'd previously reset when the power came back on.

So that you might have some glimpse of the frustration I've had, I drop into your laps The Package. It's a bomb that you've got fifteen minutes to defuse. The picture shows the second screen -- the first requires you to find a 4-digit combination. It's easy, though. Just check each number as you enter it. Once the green light comes on, go to the next dial.

Warning: Music and sfx.

I'm not sure how Christmas-y it is, but there's snow and ice, so at least it fits the season. A Super Mario Bros. type of side scroller, you'll figure it out soon enough. Best of all, there are 24 levels, so if you conquer just one a day, you'll have guaranteed entertainment up to -- and including -- the holy day itself. Plus four more days after. It's kind of eerie the way that works out, don't you think?

Warning: Music, etc.

Via Ursi's Blog

This will probably be the simplest game you've played this week, or the week before. Click on the blue lettering (It's in Japanese or Chinese or Korean or something) to start; and thereafter anywhere on the screen once you figure the blue balls have achieved a critical mass.

Spare me the snide remarks. There is no other way that I can think of to describe blue balls. They are blue, and they are balls.

Warning: Explosion sounds when things, er, explode.

LineRider was a simple but addicting application in which you drew a line and then set a little fellow sledding down it. Some people, in spite of its limited drawing tools and interface, created quite elaborate worlds (Warning: Music) to slalom through. My efforts at it were somewhat less successful, with my sledder crashing and burning at the first opportunity; or else missing a jump and spiralling down, down, down through infinity. Or until I hit the stop button.

LineRider 2 came out a couple of weeks ago, and it's got more and better tools, especially an eraser.

Or (via Ursi's Blog) you could try SkiBattle (pictured), which allows you to add clip art, snow and music. The site isn't complete -- the link to a forum where you can post your creations and discuss them isn't active yet.

I still wipe out on a regular basis, so I'm thinking that there's a big problem with these programs.

Eyezmaze' s latest version of its Make puzzle. This one is actually quite easy to solve -- the picture at left shows the victory screen, which I got to after a couple of tries. I'm sure there's some underlying logic to the thing, though it seems rather inscrutable. But the charm of these is in the quirky, cheerful animations that you'll trigger along the way.

Warning: Music, but you can mute it with a button at the lower right.

To help you get in touch with the materialistic aspects of Christmas, two games (via Ursi's Blog):

In Santa Toss you bring the bling by dropping it down chimneys. (The type of present is pictured on the roof of the next house.)

Snow Line is yet another variant of LineRider. Get the goods by drawing a line to them, and then to the finish line. Warning: Both games have music, but you can mute it in the second. (Speaker button at the top.)

I will leave you to your undignified grubbing for presents, and this blog will go dark for the remainder of the season. Perhaps great and earth-shaking events will compel breaking my silence for a world hungry for my thoughts (Stop laughing. It could happen); but if not, a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all.

A great little timewaster. You get a certain amount of gold (and sometimes other "currencies") that you use on each turn to buy towers to defeat the waves of enemies trying to make their way through the maze. For hints on strategy, you can visit the game forum here.

Warning: Sounds, which you can turn off with a button at the top left. However, hearing the shrieks of the attackers as your cannon mow them down lends a certain je ne sais quoi to the battle.

An interesting (trans: I couldn't find anything else to link to, as God is my witness) little toy, something like a Spirograph. You can adjust the lengths and axes of the rotor; or you could go get another beer. Your call.

Via J-Walk Blog

I think I know what happened here. The driver was obviously attempting to steer with his arrow keys.

Warning: Sound effects.

This is a simple concept if I've ever seen one, but beautifully executed. Just connect the dots in order. If you miss a number -- say going 1-2-4 before touching 3 -- you start the level again. Score is determined by your cumulative time through twenty levels.

Warning: Perky, perky, perky music that will drive you mad, mad, mad.

I don't go looking for them, but if I encounter one, I am compelled to finish it. Before I delete it from my bookmarks on account that I am getting nothing else done, you might want to look at JigZone. It has a wide variety of good-looking puzzles, any of which can be cut into as many as 247 pieces (an eye-glazer, to be sure), in many different patterns. If you register with the site, you can upload your own pictures. It also sells traditional cardboard puzzles, the biggest having 18,000 pieces. That's a bit too involved for even me.

If you have a blog or a webpage, you can embed any of the puzzles. The minimum width, though, is 700 px, which blows up my formatting most impressively.

All of the thrills of slot-car racing with none of the dangers!

See, the italics are what makes this link irresistably clickable. When you arrive at your destination, there you will find a blank screen, on which you can construct the slot-car track of your dreams. Assuming the slot-car track of your dreams fits on one screen.

It actually isn't bad. It would have been nice to be able to build bigger tracks, add scenery, etc., but whaddya want for free?

You control your car by clicking on its icon (or use the D or K keys) at the bottom. There are five selectable levels, of which 1 is the easiest.

Warning: Typical slot-car sounds. Also some voice offering inane commentary when your car flips off the track. I think it's meant to be humorous.